Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
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Top comments
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
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Comments (138)
jerrycurls 1
what a douchebag
australiaaaa 0
look, for all you guys know, he was injured and had to sit out of the game, but still wanted to watch. it's happened to me with soccer; i injured my ankle but i still sat with my team
Monty_Python 0
FYL dude. To the people who say YDI, get over yourselves! So he forgot his cup one time. His teammate was being an ass by not telling him he was hitting people in the nuts.
Don_fml 0
I call BS. Nuts don't shrink when they're struck, they swell.
Zerenade 0
#24 wins.
greatnt249 0
#30, yes, I have played baseball, and I always wore a cup. However, not wearing one doesn't justify getting whacked hard in your nads intentionally by your own teammates with a baseball bat.
WIDRR 0
Although I never played baseball, someone above said a cup is only required for catcher.. so its not like he was required to wear a cup although its obviously recommended. And who says hes even playing in the game? although i read it to be that he was just waiting for his at bat, for all you know the team had a double header that day and he was the sp for the first game, so hes just watching the second game, so he took off his cup to watch the game in comfort.. just a thought
h3 0
come on man. every baseball player in the world should know to where a cup. not so much to protect yourself from the ball but more from your teammates.
Lluraeden 0
lol well i don't wear a cup for baseball because I play outfield and I can see the ball coming at me from a long way away. and #3 ya do a cup check because it's funny, and usually the person is either wearing a cup or notices before you hit them. the dude is kinda an ass though because you weren't paying atention to hit you anyway.. You have my cincere sympathies I know what it feels like.... #4 - lol
hypthypthypt 0
you lie. your balls would swell, not shrink. dumb ass.