Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
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Top comments
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
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Comments (138)
PhoenixLE 0
I'm calling BS, if you got hit in the nuts they'd swell up, not shrink.
mobitsfa 1
Everyone relax most baseball players don't wear a cup. Usually if you're a catcher it's a must. It's optional if you play anywhere else. But I always wore a cup, my nuts are precious. But sometimes i'd forget and it's ok ******* chill.
cartering 0
Its not uncommon for men's testicles to recede upon being hit - a boys JV basketball coach was found to be abusing his players when one had such an injury. He was asking them "what is the capital of Thailand." And when they answered "Bangkok" he'd punch them hard in the groin. It caused the one boys testicles to ride up and so they would appear to be shrunk. But given the pain that accompanies that its doubtful you'd want to post on FML about it, and so quickly afterward to
Chris968 0
That's your fault for not wearing a cup. My brothers coach used to do that when they were 7/8 years old and they all learned very quickly. He's never forgotten a cup now in the past 10 years now.
Occam 0
#52 - in high school ball and forward, 99% of guys wear cups. Maybe the OP isn't a very good ballplayer and won't see action until the 7th inning as a defensive replacement, so he saw no reason to wear a cup until then?
alwaysalady 0
They could appear shrunk if one of them got shoved up in his body cavity. I know a guy who had that happen. He had to have surgery.
eSCaPeTHeFaTExx9 0
hahahaha. that is great. just whack him with a bat the next time you see him.
hahah808 0
31: bwahaha you are awesome, sir/madam :)
Draq 1
Yes, he completely deserved it for not wearing the equipment that is required to play the sport. That's the equivilant of not wearing padding in a football game, not wearing a helmet on a motorcycle, or not wearing clothes while frying bacon.
themangostar 0
You have every right to sue them in this situation IMO, even if you were supposed to be wearing one. I find that completely unacceptable. They could cause you to be infertile.