Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
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Top comments
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
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Comments (138)
panda_bear511 0
It could just be me, but I was getting the impression that he wasn't playing that day. That he was going to spend his day on the bench. But if not, yes he should have been wearing a cup.
thekreeperkeeper 0
cup checking is part of baseball, and has been since we were all in little league... YDI
thekreeperkeeper 0
#61 there's no matter to that, what if a teammate breaks his ankle? your roster must be ready to go, because the game definitly will, or u can forfeit.
18_fml 0
sorry bud i feel your pain but honestly you gotta wear a cup playing baseball. you need to protect the family jeweles. its tough getting used to at first but you will get used to it and you will be able to run just as fast. you deserved this one and hopefully youve learned your lesson. i have a friend who got internal bleeding in his nuts getting hit by a baseball in his nuts, he ended up getting surgery to turn his ball back from being the size of a baseball to normal size. wear a cup
Superman8_fml 0
lol @ #5
save_me_08 0
Am I the only person who took the "actually watching the game" as the OP's reason for not seeing his friend coming... i mean if that line wasn't there people would be calling him an idiot for not seeing his friend going around cup checking people...come to think of it...the OP must have been REALLY into the game not to notice something like that...
06SuFi 0
Your nuts would be getting bigger do to the swelling, I think you made this one up.
WendlaMimii 0
The way I understood this was that you were just watching this game, not actually playing in it, hence why you weren't wearing a cup. In that case, your life is ******. If you were playing in the game and you weren't wearing a cup, your life is still ****** because you were kicked in the balls.
quesoesbueno59 0
Your teammate's a dick. Even if you're supposed to be wearing a cup (really, a baseball travels faster than a car), he shouldn't be doing shit like that. IT HURTS!
save_me_08 0
Why wouldn't you have a cup in a sport that involves bats being swung at balls?...your teammate just wanted to hit a double...
mongoosemike 23
i see what you did there..