Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
iluvmycatz 0
my friend vomitted becuz a guy threw a bat at his balls
melissa333jade 3
omg that would be soo painfull! I can't believe u can vomit from getting hit in the balls! So glad im a girl :)
stonerchu 0
Shouldn't your nuts be swollen and twice the size?
Jimboom 12
"Today I was being a bit silly and went and tapped my friend in his nuts thinking he had a cup like everyone else. He didn't. I apologised but he wasn't having it. He says his nuts have now shrunk and won't come back to normal size so he wants revenge (even though they look the same size to me). Now he is stalking me and I fear he wants to cut off my balls. FML"
Barbourino 0
That made me chuckle
greatnt249 0
So, you jackasses are essentially saying the OP deserved to be whacked in the nuts because of an outside chance that he might be intentionally hit hard in the balls by one of his teammates? You're all ******* idiots; no one deserves this.
beccaisonnn 0
you deserve it
deliciouskaek 1
#24 - No, no one deserves to choke on their own balls like that, but he is playing a sport, after all, in which hard objects swing and fly through the air on a regular basis. I'm thinking the cup would have been a nice 'just in case' item to have around. Does he deserve to be hurt? No. Should he have considered the possibility of some sort of painful incident at some point? Uh, yeah.
austinocappucino 0
He was just watching
markh110 0
#24=Spot on in my eyes.
Silhouette_fml 0
Lesson learned: always wear a cup.
goosemanrocks 0
OUCH! happened to me today at lacrosse practice. I feel 'ya!
ZleveL 0
WTF is lacrosse? it sound French or canadisn
Hot_Sauce 0
#24, have you ever played baseball at all? There is ALWAYS a danger of being hit by a bat or ball, so players should ALWAYS take precautions and wear the appropriate safety gear