Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
balanceMMX 0
sounds like your teammate is asking for a head check *wham*
rab1015 0
no one deserves to get hit in the nuts..its not his fault a teammate snuck up and cup checked his nuts into submission. yes, he couldve worn a cup, but there are many logical reasons why not to (like others said, hes playing 1 game of a double-header and sitting the other, hes an outfielder, he was for whatever reason ineligible, he doesnt play very much, etc). im with #79 im an outfielder too and i never wear a cup because the balls coming from 300 or so feet away. id have to be a pretty shitty outfielder to miss the ball and get hit below the belt..and at the plate your front leg stands between the ball and your pair so your good there too. bottom line: it hurts, i feel for you, you dont deserve any bit of that, though im still confused how your balls shrunk?
Epic_Fail_Sauce 0
1. Fall over in pain 2. Get up 3. FALCOOOON PUNCHHHHHH him in his nuts 4. Walk away proud
Tsukasa_fml 0
Yeah you should have worn a cup, but that guy's still a jackass.
platypusrex256 2
cup or no cup that guys is immature. you should get revenge =)
tweetylover8402 0
I think I smell BS. If this was true, you'd probably be in the Emergency Room right now, not writing about it on FML. Thoughts?
Easy_Target 0
HA-ha! Lawsuit!
greatnt249 0
#86, my thoughts are that you're new to this site...all FMLs begin with "Today..."; that doesn't mean they actually happened today.
justinsbaby291 0
uhh dude i would seriously get that checked out...if i were u id sue the kid...seriously like now u might not be able to have kids in the future
whudafxup 0
that is extraordinarily gay of your teammate. and I would go get that checked out because you could have a serious injury ...