Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
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Top comments
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
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Comments (138)
AkihiroHattori5 0
that's why they call it a cup check numbnuts! But still, with a baseball bat? Bad idea, even if you ARE wearing a cup.
eaglesrule8120 0
When would it ever be a good idea to play baseball without a cup? He may be a douchebag, but you deserved it for being an idiot
marines_fml 0
Allways wear a cup...baseball bats aren't the only things taken swings at it...
zach2556 0
Well I've never been hit in the nuts that hard but if you got hit in the nuts that hard wouldn't your nuts swell? And not shrink? I don't know.
lakergurl91 0
Thank GOD Im a girl!! Hope your nuts heal up!! Smile Jesus loves you =)
GMeister13 0
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - that would be my response to him, and then I would take my own baseball bat and "cup check" him in the face :P
what_thefk 0
********** and check if u can still make children
BigD3452 6
just think u might be sterile now!!! yay no more condoms and shoot it in who ever u want! just see a doc and find out fir damn sure first haha
Trebie 6
I would spend the rest of the season tapping my bat in my hand and watching him with a vengeful stare, just to keep him on the edge. Then at the last game, smack his balls. With or without the bat.
Maverick5762 0
first.