Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
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Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, then, my wife told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
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Top comments
SparkleMotion44 0
divorce that ***** brah
Jessi_the_sexii 0
answer: I want a divorce for dinner
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Comments (219)
caitea 0
5 other men is quite extreme! i hope this is fake, but if not, fyl if it turns out that the child is in-fact yours, not one of the other 5 possibilties.
johnnyexpl0sion 0
why would you hope the child is his? so he has to be tied to that nasty ****? i hope the child isn't yours man, so you can get the **** out of this terrible situation. women can be such ****** man. i'm sorry.
johnnyexpl0sion 0
When I re-read your comment I saw you didn't say you hoped the child is his, you hoped it was fake. sorry lol i'm running on no sleep atm -_-
ktbird 0
Actually I think you were right the first time
NavyBound 0
ykdi for marrying such a *****. (you kinda deserve it) I mean..you can't turn a hoe into a housewife. /: I'm sure she didn't just abruptly turn into a cheating *****..
iplaylax 0
maybe he didnt know
dontgiveacrap 0
File divorce ASAP and get a DNA test also ASAP. If you're married to her when the kid is born you're on the hook for child support until the kid is 18(or 21 depending on location) even if the kid is NOT yours. You're married to her you're the presumed father even if the kid isn't yours. She's a bitch dump her ass.
suk_it_fag69 0
shit on dat bitch
perdix 31
There's your Canadian socialized medicine for ya! In the US, if you're rich, you can blow a fortune on in vitro, fertility treatments, etc. and if you are poor, you are out of luck. In Canada, they just line up five other dudes to **** your wife's brains out and get the job done. Cheap and effective. O, Canada!
TheDrifter 24
that's why Canadians are always happier than our southern neighbors
perdix 31
Six out of the seven people in this story are happy with the Canadian approach to solving this problem, but the one crybaby came here to whine about it.
figurey 0
time to contact your divorce lawyer, dude.
reddwarf_fml 0
WOW. just WOW
jdfml90 0
37 Jesus take a joke you twat, it's the Internet. have a wank and calm down.
Mauskau 36
lol if I cheated on my husband with 5 other guys and ended up pregnant and not knowing who the dad is, I'd like a slap for being so ******* dumb. if I told my husband like op's wife did then asked what he'd like for dinner, Idk. I don't think it's ok. I'd go to a female friend for the slap :D
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Hey Pendatik, you know what the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of a battered womens' shelter? Get back in the kitchen and make a sammich, if she's learned anything.
Sharpie23 7
92- your trolling is making me lol
GoodLookingGeese 10
i like her, honesty is the fundation of a good marriage, LOL..
ZiggySmalls 0
wait til she makes u dinner then kick her out!