Help.
United Kingdom
Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Romulus, United States
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML
Anonymous
Dallas, United States
Y'all better run
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
guns save lives, so does gun safety
Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML
HelpMe1
Jakarta, Indonesia
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
dead man walking?
United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Munch
Mordialloc, Australia
Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML
Anonymous
United States
Wrap it up
Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
Anonymous
India
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Notre_Dame_714
United States
Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML
Top comments
TheCRBrown 8
Good luck!
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
I would sleep with one eye open and a knife under your pillow. Just in case.
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Comments (170)
morejuana 0
Ahahahahahaha #61 good one
A100893 30
Pack your bags and book it while she's picking the gun up on Wednesday.
SlenderMan_fml 6
15 ironically i was listening to Run Away by The Real McCoy as I read this.
Calyx_fml 22
Remove the firing pin.
fatalwish 6
Kevlar dosent stop rifle rounds they fire at slightly higher fps well actually about triple the fps of of a 9mm which you are lucky if kev stops that best thing to do would be 1 not be a bitch/dick to her and or remove the fireing pin and lock it into a safe or just another room but hey nothing works as well as preventative maintainance in this situation try being nice maby he/she will be less violent
THE_A_TEEN 28
Bolt-actions? PPPPFFFFTTT, unless he/she can load the round into the chamber fast, then you're ****. But dont worry, my uncle (doesnt live in the usa) carries various automatic weaponry, and military-grade weapons. Put the weapons you want an i'll ship 'em to you. Anything happens, tell your (i'm assuming) "trigger-happy" violent roomate, 'hasta la vista, baby'.
devilboy1234 0
Dude I think u best to get out of there
vbmg152 19
You better move on Tuesday!!!
boredblonde 17
shoot her first?
bkkingkeokuk 1
Well atleast it only 1 shot at a time gives u alittle time to run fyl tho