Help.
United Kingdom
Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Romulus, United States
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML
Anonymous
Dallas, United States
Y'all better run
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
guns save lives, so does gun safety
Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML
HelpMe1
Jakarta, Indonesia
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
dead man walking?
United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Munch
Mordialloc, Australia
Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML
Anonymous
United States
Wrap it up
Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
Anonymous
India
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Notre_Dame_714
United States
Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML
Top comments
TheCRBrown 8
Good luck!
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
I would sleep with one eye open and a knife under your pillow. Just in case.
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Comments (170)
lmaoatall 6
Atleast it's bolt action. You hear that, you may have enough time to jump out the window.
Bbhd05 0
And get shot by the time you hit the ground
ninjuh_wingman 29
I think its time for you to find your own place.
lenamartinovic 13
...or file a restraining order. at least a country apart.
komania 6
The good news is that you only need to dodge one bullet. After that, you have a nice chance to run while she's reloading :P
Livencountry 5
What if the rifle has a magazine? Then it takes like 12 seconds to reload.
Zomg_Okay 27
I love how you say OP "only" needs to dodge a single bullet, as if people dodge objects moving at 2,000+ feet per second every day effortlessly. Also, a considerable amount of bolt action rifles take magazines. 3-5 second reload if the shooter doesn't drop the magazine and thats assuming the target survives anywhere from (I'd guess) 5-20 rounds from the first mag.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
There are some shooters that can chamber a cartridge in half a second. I doubt you can get very far in that amount of time.
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
When you reload a bolt action rifle with ammo still in it (almost every bolt action rifle holds more than one round) it only takes .5- 2 seconds to reload it
David0D 5
I love how some people have timed how long it takes to reload a gun. God bless America. :)
lmaoatall 6
Seriously 72? You never heard of competition shooting?
DanGleesak 11
Bolt action. Hopefully she doesn't have slight of hand perk on.
palahniukpaul 6
Guns don't kill people. People kill people.
cash_monkey72 9
No, bullets kill people dumbass
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
No guns just make it alot easier.
WTSchool 0
The people make the choice to kill, not the gun, nor the bullet. (: In Layman's terms, only living things can kill.
the_gman 7
Derelict criminals kill people. They don't always need a license to get a gun either. If your neighbor is mentally sane and is just vigilant around people keep him close. Its better to have a gun in the hands of a licensed citizen than in the hands of a criminal.
deviable 9
My uncle was killed when he was hit by lightning. Is lightning a living thing?
DocBastard 40
People don't kill people, and guns don't kill people. It's the little holes that the bullets make that kill people.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words. Also, gun control means aiming before you shoot.
Lehk 9
guns don't kill people, i kill people with guns
RebekahBrooke 9
You need to get out of there. NOW.
Jamicianprince 1
Watch your back . Call po po.
sparky42 2
Call the police? For a legally obtained firearm? Sorry, i don't get it
Freeze_fml 17
It'll happen during your sleep.
sworn_infidel 0
You guys are all f*cking retarded. A kevlar vest won't stop rifle rounds and why is she buying a bolt action, does she plan on hunting? You sound like some stupid anti gun hippy who wishes attention on themselves via their "violent" roommates.
rattusrattus 19
She probably does plan on hunting. The OP was from the UK. The only reasons you can have guns in the UK is for sport (e.g. hunting and competition). There may be others but I am not aware of them. I am pro-gun control. However, one can adequately defend one's property with locks, double glazing, nonfatal-but-incapacitating booby traps, decoys and a good old fashioned crossbow. All legal too.
oiendoio 1
Yea umm your a moron i took 7.62 to chest in iraq kevlar vest stopped a fairly large round. They wont stop a close range sniper rifle shell but it isnt paper mashe
sparky42 2
119 is right, no info has been given on the gun. For all we know it could be a .22 which is considerably less powerful than most handguns
Gloritank 8
110 guns are legal too.
mandel2000 0
Hide. Now.