Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML
Y'all better run
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
Guns don't kill people, rappers do
Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML
Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML
Wrap it up
Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML
Top comments
TheCRBrown 8
Good luck!
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
I would sleep with one eye open and a knife under your pillow. Just in case.
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Comments (170)
icic6772 0
U should get a gun too. For self-defense
InUrArea 4
Get out now!
ihateyouall140 0
24-someone allergic to pastries
icic6772 0
What the **** does that mean?!
Sammansix 3
Yo I've got a mad good deal on a bullet proof vest just for you. 18003960 hit me up.
sexypimpdaddy 0
It doesn't take long to rack the bolt on a rifle. I can do it in a second. So no, she wouldn't have time to run if that's the case. Not all bolt actions are single shot!
neonberries 15
Go home/into hiding? or get your own gun license?
varkey 7
Move out.
yaknowiverse 0
awesome!!
kjbirch7 0
lol scary!?! make sure not to piss them off now..
scottishandrew1 0
God bless the USA