Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML
Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML
Today, my sister refuses to talk to me because I didn't post her a "Happy birthday" in an Instagram story. It seems that the iPhone 12 I gave her as a present is just not enough. She's 19. FML
Today, my daughter and her best friend made an elaborate plan that she was kidnapped, causing me to cough up $7000 in ransom money, which I later found out was a hoax. All this because she’s still upset I left her terminally ill mother for my current girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my 18 year-old daughter comes home, telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had iCarly Happy Meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Today, my daughter asked to use my phone to find hers. Instead, she sent multiple messages to my boyfriend, trying to break up with him. When asked why she did it, she said it’s because she wants me to get back with her father. This would be somewhat understandable if she wasn’t 32 years-old. FML
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Top comments
1217jonathan 15
Take that back from her, so she gets nothing !
fk18 27
I worry for the future generation
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Comments (356)
ryanator008 23
She must have no taste to prefer Crapple over Awesung
JolyJalapeno 11
She has a bad taste in phones.
enginsteve 17
She should count herself lucky she got a Samsung and not an iPhone.
jaredofmo 22
Sure, it might be because my parents couldn't afford to get cell phones for themselves much less all their kids, but every cell phone I've had (except one, which was given to me for Christmas), I've had to buy myself. As a result, I've never expected anyone to hand me anything or have the best right away. Maybe the stuff I have isn't the best, but it works and does what I need it to. My current one is actually a Samsung, so... TEAM SAMSUNG!
lina21 12
Guess who can live without any new phone? If it was a real suicide attempt over something else, you gotta deal with it. But faking something that serious over not getting the right expensive phone? My mom would've rightfully kicked my butt
sbrideau 14
If she's like that. maybe you already give her too much stuff? spoiled brats are usually the teens pulling this kind of stuff. Anyway from having both android as my personnal phone and an iphone 5s as my job Cell, i'd take my old optimus g phone over that iphone crap anyday.
more4me 27
How does one fake a suicide ? Did she stop breathing? Anyway what a brat ! Take the phone away!
ThatFancyPenn 18
The point at which they become attention seekers is when they go on an app like iFunny and say that they're gonna kill themselves "unless..." "or if..." People need to talk to their family and friends, not random people on the internet.
aimzskee 30
Wow. I would just be happy with the fact I didn't have to buy my own.
cina5 19
You should really have a talk with her.