Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML
Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML
Today, my sister refuses to talk to me because I didn't post her a "Happy birthday" in an Instagram story. It seems that the iPhone 12 I gave her as a present is just not enough. She's 19. FML
Today, my daughter and her best friend made an elaborate plan that she was kidnapped, causing me to cough up $7000 in ransom money, which I later found out was a hoax. All this because she’s still upset I left her terminally ill mother for my current girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my 18 year-old daughter comes home, telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had iCarly Happy Meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Today, my daughter asked to use my phone to find hers. Instead, she sent multiple messages to my boyfriend, trying to break up with him. When asked why she did it, she said it’s because she wants me to get back with her father. This would be somewhat understandable if she wasn’t 32 years-old. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
1217jonathan 15
Take that back from her, so she gets nothing !
fk18 27
I worry for the future generation
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (356)
mila1997 5
I say androids are alot better
the_mantlist 6
Tell her that what she did was inconsiderate. You don't fake suicides for materialistic reasons. You simply don't fake suicides! That's insulting to actual suicidal people
Witchylady 18
What would she have done if you bought her a Nokia brand?
PurelyCanadian 18
Stop spoiling the entitled little twat.
tianyiwei 17
what's wrong with Samsung? spoilt brat
xX_Munchie_Xx 8
Samsung is so much better though. I speak from experience. She should be thanking you.
mimi809o 21
Ungrateful brat. I would've been happy that I even GOT a phone...
JKPwnage 27
Same here, I'm 14 and I STILL don't have a phone.
bingodog 11
If she's a teenage girl, she just wants it because it's still a status symbol for teens, teens girls in particular. Little does she know though that every Samsung phone made since the S3 is better than every single iPhone ever made.
Sigilwen 24
I hope you took the phone away, if my kids ever did that because it's not the brand they want the next phone they would get is what they pay for including the plan. My step sons happy with his first phone... It's a flip phone.
whyallnamestaken 6
That's seriously vile, she doesn't deserve any phone!