Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
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Top comments
Wreckless_fml 6
Sounds like a winner to me.
saIty 17
He probably saw the axe commercial. He wants the chicks all over his mouth.
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Comments (193)
yamatelle 19
Wow, I actually found someone dumber than my little sister who tried perfume to freshen her breath. . .?!
Wreckless_fml 6
Sorry to say, but your sister is just as dumb as him.
Wreckless_fml 6
Sorry to say, but your sister is just as dumb as him.
yamatelle 19
At least she knew not to spray a shit load to make her sick. She sprayed once, spit it out, and then started making faces. She was nine by the way.
cptmorgan6 8
I'm with wreckless. She's equally dumb.
spicyasscakes 0
wait... did it work?
ColCyclone 17
He's on his way!
NoNotTheFace 8
Maybe it's cos his mouth smells like a smelly armpit.
hannahcorrine 0
Challenge accepted. :)
Arivien 3
Wait, you're not supposed to use deodorant on your mouth,? ... What have I been doing all this time?!
oSwag 0
I put deodorant on my balls. No one likes swamp dick.
ikickgingers 15
Baby powder?
HomeAl0ne 20
And spraying deodoriser up my arse so my farts won't stink probably doesn't work as well as I think? But I can still keep doing, right?
SW500 13
This is why people criticize our public school system...
RedPillSucks 33
What makes you think he goes to public school? I've seen lots of idiots at high cost private schools as well.
tina1213 0
Wow ! What a guy ! Like who does that ? Desperate much ? 4 good breath? It shows how Many girls he gets
slushpup9696 12
Are you retarded? Maybe I should put it in your language too. "Ar U Retaardid ?!!!??!"
stevenmx86 8
My wife has told me she did that once too.. When she was 5...
Senior29 8
what an idiot, didnt he knw that deodorant is only sprayed on food? what do they teach in school these days :/