Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
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Top comments
Wreckless_fml 6
Sounds like a winner to me.
saIty 17
He probably saw the axe commercial. He wants the chicks all over his mouth.
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Comments (193)
SteveTheJanitor 6
You have a lovely body but you should really try and put your shirt on instead of having it hanging off the shoulder...thank you :)
Charm651 0
What a good idea...
perdix 31
You're in denial. Your idiot kid was huffing and the "thought the deodorant would freshen my breath" gambit is the oldest trick in the book.
tmmundy 17
see #39 for my comment to your comment. FML must be huffing this morning. lol
Joey44 15
Yeah, that's what I thought too...
LolCakes111 7
Wow, that teenager is an airhea-Oh wait, a deodoranthead...
DjeePee 25
Just give him some more deodorant and let natural selection do his job.
cuppycakeslove 20
Toothpaste could have worked too y'know.
squanmonster 8
He is a genius
vergaso 0
He passed out because you put a napkin or shirt in front of the axe.... That way you get high not pass out... I'm sure that's what the kid was attempting
Javnok 0
Admit it, you wanted to **** him and that is why you were taking him home. Nightcap is a euphemism for having a drink and ******* him. Yes' your life sucks.
jclee890 0
He was probably huffing it.
FarSide 23
Exactly