Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
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Top comments
Wreckless_fml 6
Sounds like a winner to me.
saIty 17
He probably saw the axe commercial. He wants the chicks all over his mouth.
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Comments (193)
jesskaisns 5
My brother has tried that. Except his 19
jayyw5 3
Pretty sure he was trying to get a high dear, not get fresh breath. Sorry, but your son lied to you.
chels1994 11
i'd date him :p
Zaffro 8
What a pudding...
toalysium 15
Who allowed you to breed?
THE_A_TEEN 28
me, god. Problem?
babybrunette128 8
You raised a genius!
mistersheezy 7
Too much time, not enough sense.
durkagihad 12
Relax, he's probably just high.
outbackbyrd 7
Congrats, you've raised an idiot. YDI
nateiztite 5
I was just thinking about doing the same thing the other day and I didn't do it good thing I didn't im also 17 fml