Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML
Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
conan6 0
YDI for using the phrase "happy sacks"
letitbe56 0
YDI for grounding your son for something that could have happened to anybody.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (206)
baller789 0
CAKE. Illegal for women to leave the kitchen. Atlwast where I live your supposed to slap your johnson
ThirdFloorGreg 0
YDI for happy sacks. You are obviously driving while retarded.
epicwinmaster 0
i call my mom "betty". if he was close enough to get hit in the balls, he probably wouldve got his foot run over. unless happy sacks are just bags with smileys on them from some wierd store?? seriously OP grow the **** up and just say no to drugs next time..
F22Raptor212 0
I hope your son laughed in your face
jackle117 0
Happy sacks wtf your a douche bag YDI
Maze600 0
LOLOLOL
firebirdjim 0
YDI, who grounds a kid for hitting a shop vac on accident? Also your husband deserved it for standing right next to the mirror.
Gen_Knowledge 0
This one made my day.
jonny2x4 0
Exactly how does this happen? Most conventional car mirrors are between 4 and 5 feet off the ground. For your husband to get hit in the 'nads, He has to be near 7 ft. tall and you have to be driving some kind of European sports car so low that it nearly scrapes the ground.
larselduderino 0
This is a perfect example of why women shouldn't be allowed to drive. Only cook and clean.
Pandasaur 0
Trolls these days are so unoriginal. :/