Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML
Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
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Top comments
conan6 0
YDI for using the phrase "happy sacks"
letitbe56 0
YDI for grounding your son for something that could have happened to anybody.
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Comments (206)
captainmaharet 1
Today, my wife backed into my balls. With a car. Then she called them "happy sacks." FML
Firesprite2009 0
#145, why are you being so sexist? Women CAN drive, and not all are good at cleaning OR cooking. I know I'm not, and neither is my aunt, and she's a perfect driver. And LOL, that's what he gets for standing so close? xD
samantha246 0
OP you are a bitch to punish someone who is learning how to drive, so you totally deserve it
Ihazasuckishlife 0
How the hell did u hit his "happy sacks" without hitting his whole waist? And by happy sacks your implying that he has 2. what the ****?
silentmusic 0
i dont care if this is real or fake, or if half the trolls on this site are being fake sexist. u used happy sacks and i love u for it. ive never heard thst before and it made my day. thts my new word
Molise 0
Huh. Umm...grounded at what I'm guessing is 16-17? For something like that too? I was doing what I wanted at that age....
Hellsno 0
Happy sacks?!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SCREWIT666 0
FML Epic Fail for using the term "happy sack".
Nightmare1 0
I hate getting hit in the happy sacks...... It sucks. ****** halarious tho!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha
padfoot_fml 0
Today, my son, who doesn't know how to drive, hit my shop-vac pulling into the garage too fast. My wife decided to show him how to properly pull in, and in the process used the side mirror to hit something else of mine, my balls. FML