Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML
Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
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Top comments
conan6 0
YDI for using the phrase "happy sacks"
letitbe56 0
YDI for grounding your son for something that could have happened to anybody.
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Comments (206)
mina_8 0
F YOUR life? I believe your husband is the one who got his shop-vac and "happy sacks" run over. :P
padfoot_fml 0
two things first, if i were the son, i would basically grounded for the entire week, because after that, i wouldn't be able to stop laughing. second, this is why i wish our lives were videotaped. wait! this is the obama administration, that will probably happen anyway.
Pwibble 2
YDI For punishing him for something he didn't do on purpose while learning to drive
nygreenmachine 0
hah your son hit something that blows and you hit something that gets blown
shinedown_fml 0
I agree that YDI for punishing your son. You grounded him for 3 days for hitting something? That's stupid.
veggiebre93 0
okay. so...it took me like 20 mins to figure this all out. her husband was standing rather close to the SIDE of the vehicle and one of the mirrors located on the car doors smashed his balls as she drove backwards. i get it!. and i hope i helped someone else get it. and OP, YDI bc yu made that FML so confusing...i hope he doesnt have sex with yu for 5 years!.
TokiWartooth 0
169 fyl for taking 20 minutes to figure this out. oh yeah, you has an o in it.
halliewouldyoutu 0
YDI for being out of the kitchen.
EveryDayJackAss 0
damn thats gotta fkin hurt his ....err..."happy sacks"
britter94 0
i have to say that it is completely ridiculous you grounded your son for hitting a shop vac. you should be happy he's okay. everyone screws up when they drive.
Mryourlifesucks 0
first you would have to be going at a fast rate to do damage not park maneuver speed and an very awkward position (i know there maneuvering ) but for there to be a direct hit he'd be close enough to get his feet run over and that doesnt sound very likely unless you have a closed course he stands in the in the exact right postition and go like 15-20 MPH per hour just sounds fake . . . .