Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML
Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
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Top comments
conan6 0
YDI for using the phrase "happy sacks"
letitbe56 0
YDI for grounding your son for something that could have happened to anybody.
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Comments (206)
Jessticle85 0
if your son is driving, i think maybe he is too old to be grounded...especially for a legitimate mistake. YDI, bitch
Jessticle85 0
correction: you and your husband deserve it!
happyvalleygirl 0
Women shouldn't drive unless there's a road to the kitchen.
blackxmortals 0
"men" like you are what abortion's for. since apparently we're back to a 19th century level right now, maybe men shouldn't come in the house unless there's a field in the living room, a cow needing to be milked in the basement, or a baby needing to be made in the bedroom.
iEuphorical 0
How ******* tall is your husband?
missadeline_fml 0
I agree with #186. And YDI because you grounded your son for the simple reason of accidently running over a shop vac. Maybe make him pay for the damages? sounds like your husband needed a good hit in the nuts and I hope you didnt get any for three days.... or 3 months
Cinnabar 0
What kind of idiot doesn't step aside when he sees a moving vehicle getting dangerously close to his balls? Were you really parking that fast?
skandal_fml 0
YDI for being a hipocrite b*tch. Women shouldn't drive, let alone teach others how to :)
FML_FML_FML_721 0
your a douche
wow_its_me_hiya 0
Happy sacks...?
kristidgranger 3
funny stuff. poor husband
5oforlife 0
he deserved it, a man should always be protective of said area. how could you not see it coming, seriously?
My2864 1
how large is your husband? or how low to the ground is your car? seriously?