Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML
Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
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Top comments
conan6 0
YDI for using the phrase "happy sacks"
letitbe56 0
YDI for grounding your son for something that could have happened to anybody.
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Comments (206)
bubblybrooke 12
I lol'd at "happy sacks" xD
meowcat121 0
well i admit this was funny, but grounding him for THAT?
bubblybrooke 12
**** everyone here saying 'YDI for driving while being female' idiots. we're the better, smarter, fairer sex, so deal ;)
TheCashMan88 0
You keep thinking that while making my sandwich.
gc_fml 0
girls like you are the reason people don't respect feminists and chauvinism died out. unless you're trolling, and if you are then you got me
screwtaylor 0
#82. How about you make ME a sandwhich?
bananamanama 0
Fighting sexism with sexism. Good job.
TheCashMan88 0
#92 Because women belong in the kitchen, not men. There is a reason why women wear white to their weddings, you know.
llamasoks 0
Because it's a tradition made by idiotic people years ago, not because we belong in kitchens. :)
TheCashMan88 0
Gotta disagree with you there. The woman has to match all the other kitchen appliances, you know.
llamasoks 0
because women wear wedding dresses whilst in the kitchen to match? wow. Personally I think women should wear red so the blood wont show when they smack men such as yourself over the head with said applicances.
TheCashMan88 0
A real woman would never think about smacking her man with anything. She would shut up and make him a sandwich.
llamasoks 0
A real man would get off his lazy ass and make his own damn sandwhich.
anaandrovic 0
guys can go on and say all this shit against women, but you know once they get into the house they hang their balls up and become our bitches.
TheCashMan88 0
There you go again, acting as if you can say what a real man should or shouldn't do. Typical woman.
llamasoks 0
Typical man thinking he knows everything about women there is to know. Let me guess, single?.
TheCashMan88 0
Ah, typical woman. Not only assuming things, but being wrong about them as well! Who knew? (P.S. In case you can't tell, I'm trolling. I don't actually believe in what I am talking about.)
llamasoks 0
Typical woman, laughing at a man who has no idea about women. (You make me lol)
XxmidnightXx4545 0
LMFAO you hit your husbands "happy sacks" they arent happy though they are ANGRY sacks :D
Nakedsquirrel 5
Indeed. And perhaps the moment before they were struck, they were frightened sacks.
anonacs 0
**** you for saying happy sacks, and **** you more for thinking you had to demonstrate how to park. He gets it, its called an accident.
blackxmortals 0
i think she was demonstrating for the son, not the husband, which is a perfectly reasonable thing for a mother to be doing. so I honestly don't know what your problem is.
wolfe1700 0
**** your husbands life. what kind of car is that? 'cause the image i got in my head was that he was a very tall man to have been hit in the crotch by a car mirror
midwestjerk 0
Is it an MG? Some little sports car? Or is your husband just damn tall?
gothymama 0
Could be a mini-cooper... those things are sweeeeeet...
ihatestupidppl 0
I think your husband kinda deserved it for standing so close to a moving car...
azzh0le 0
YDI for being a woman who was trying to teach something about driving to a guy :p
epicwinmaster 0
he has more than one sack?