Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss's truck. While he was in it. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML
Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
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Top comments
conan6 0
YDI for using the phrase "happy sacks"
letitbe56 0
YDI for grounding your son for something that could have happened to anybody.
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Comments (206)
i_is_a_tr00l 0
You hit his toys? Happy Sacks are little balls you kick around. That doesn't sound so bad :D
letitbe56 0
You're thinking of Hacky Sacks.
gorguz14evar 0
I rofl'd at these two comments.
Nolanor 0
I rofl'd at all 3! Eat it, bitch. :P
TheCashMan88 0
Happy sacs? You are married and have a kid old enough to drive, and you can't even say testicles, or scrotum, or even balls? Jesus ****, what is so embarassing about saying parts of the anatomy?
smiller0789 3
My mother still says "dinger-donger" instead of penis. She's 53.
adelaide_evening 0
That seems like it would make talking dirty very hard (not that anyone wants to think of their mother talking dirty...) "Oh, baby, I want your dinger-donger in me!"
amiotica 2
she may say that infront of you.. my mom does that too... uses other childish words for parts of the anatomy in front of me... and im 21.. but im sure infront of friends and her siblings and shit she says more adult terms... the problem with this woman is that even infront of people her own age or older she is not comfortable with sex or sexuality enough to talk like an adult when referencing male anatomy.
AnonEMous1125 0
#5, ur an ftard 4 not knowing what a shop-vac is
TheCashMan88 0
I think it's funny she is calling somebody an f-tard, yet she can't even spell, "you're" correctly. Hypocrisy, anybody?
LadyKaya 0
haha, agreed. Finding mean girl shit is a bigger FML than the OP's.
flinkpamingo 0
That is the funniest thing I've heard in a while. I appreciate your humor. I don't think it's about saying the name. I think it's about the humor surrounding the whole incident. So everybody lay off.
pulkpull713 0
wtf. how tall is your husband?
Marcus86 0
well that will teach him to stand in front of a moving vehicle.
doubleAbattery 0
Hee hee hee, happy sacks. I've never heard that one before! Which is saying something because in my house there are A LOT of synonyms for testicals!
Nakedsquirrel 5
So when you guys are *******, do you call his dick Mr. Snake? Do you beckon him to insert it by making it weave around and telling him to fly into the tunnel?
raechel 0
HAHA!!
melilikiki 0
I'd say F your husband's life... his 'shop vac' gets hit with his car, 3 days later his sack?
lrb081 0
HAHAHAHA@ "happy sacks"