Health: Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired,... - FML

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 698

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I'm not sad. Or am I?

By Dr Pepper - 22/05/2019 18:05

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 1 695

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 561

You deserved it 4 252

By Anonymous - 06/09/2012 01:34 - Canada

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 926

You deserved it 2 879

By Username - 09/02/2011 03:27

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 393

You deserved it 3 109

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 773

You deserved it 12 037

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 588

You deserved it 36 398

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 29/05/2010 13:16 - Malaysia

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 988

You deserved it 6 542

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 984

You deserved it 5 564

By spoiled22 - 12/10/2011 07:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 864

You deserved it 28 207

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:58

dumbass nice job spraying yourself.

karmennn 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:00

that was stupid. ydi for spraying yourself with pepper spray...expired or not

Comments

doglover339 4

Thursday 7 July 2011 4:42

why would u do that?!??

BBYgirl_22 3

Thursday 7 July 2011 4:50

dumbass. if it works or not, you shouldn't point it in your face. hella dumb.

soulfulemo 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 7:40

you make yourself sound "hella" dumb when you say that.

BBYgirl_22 3

Thursday 18 August 2011 0:23

HA!

johnny52 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 4:51

ur a dumbass

emosk8er4life 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 4:58

just because its expired dosent mean it wont work

THEgirlNEXTdoor0_fml 8

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:00

it doesnt mean that its expired that it wont hurt and/or wont spray ! hope that your stupid enough to try it again with a none expired one just to see the difference !!!

tona01 16

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:10

wait! you are trying to tell me, that you should never try pepper spray on yourself!!!!! I've been doing it wrong all these years

steph87_fml 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:21

you are clearly a moron! why on earth would you do that?!? YDI!

smexehXredhead0 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:24

Stupidass...

Ryan747 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:26

Haha your smart.

Lax434 5

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:41

haha idiot...

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The Top

Today, at my maternal grandmother’s wake, I decided I deserved a piece of cake as it had been a hard day. I was serving myself a slice when my paternal grandma caught my eye from across the room, making a “fat face” at me. She called out, loudly, “You don’t need it Pudgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 696

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

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You deserved it 7 094

The Top

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You deserved it 626

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You deserved it 768

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I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 71

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I agree, your life sucks 38 692

You deserved it 2 830

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 119

Today, I was called a fascist and accused of being "racist" against poor people, all because some crazy meth-mouthed bitch couldn't afford some booze and expected me to cut the price by almost 40% so she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 755

You deserved it 2 218