By avoid the sour cream - United States
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
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  junkman6  |  22

This is how you know most FML commenters are still in high school they can't understand a joke that might make them look slightly "uncool."

  poccocurantes  |  7

Light a match. Courtesy flush. open a window. If all of these fail set the toilet paper on fire, flood the bathroom and climb out the window. Come through the front doors as the fire department arrives and ask what's going on.

By  1dvs_bstd  |  41

Tell them... the drinks is on me
the bitches, the hotel, the weed is all free
Get high, I mean so high
We see the whole street
We fly, I mean so high
We need a whole wing......

When they take the bait, it's your chance to totally annihilate the toilet!