mario
Corvallis, United States
Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
funnymanjoe
United States
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
GonnaLockUpMySpices
San Francisco, United States
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
cantstopfeelingit
Gross!
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
holyshart
United States
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
flying solo
United States
Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML
Mike Capobianco
Drugs are bad
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
upset room mate
United States
Give it back
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
anonymous
Luxembourg
Student life
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
Anonymous
Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML
KindaLooksLikeCocaine
San Francisco, United States
Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
Top comments
Allie614032 34
Time to get a new roommate.
manb91uk 22
Maybe he just wanted to demonstrate combustion..?
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Comments (16)
Allie614032 34
Time to get a new roommate.
1known 34
Time for your roommate to seek help.
manb91uk 22
Maybe he just wanted to demonstrate combustion..?
Dave_Davington 35
If you really want to **** him up, slip his weed into his pocket and then next time he goes out, tip off the cops. If that's a little too much for you, mixing a few of your pubes into his weed seems like another good option.
Gofuckyourself 24
^ winner. Or smoke his joints. Sharing is caring 🤷🏽♀️
Guilbj2 5
So do you burn down peoples homes when they disagree with you or just threaten their families? That guy that messed up your lunch order last week... did you beat him or just frame him for murder? Do you have any idea how insane this response is?
tounces7 28
Getting an asshole arrested for possession? I see no moral qualms here.
Dave_Davington 35
Guilbj2 Why yes, I do. In fact, just the other day a guy walking down the street sneezed a little too hard in my general direction. In response, I framed him for running the largest paedo ring in the world. You might have seen him on the news, in fact. I believe the fellow's name is Francis Bergoglio.
RichardPencil 32
Ironically, the cards he used were the molecule of THC and your recipe for crystal meth.
GamerChickxoxo 16
Dealt with this shit before.take a nug of his weed and rub it on your asshole a few times, wait for him to smoke it later, enjoy :D
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
flush his stash
sparklyre 6
Well, he's a ******* moron, you shouldn't use filters on joints, they filter out more of the high than the carcinogens. You take in more toxic crap for the same high.
Guilbj2 5
What brand of pseudo science taught you this utter nonsense?
justpickone 12
who uses filter tips
WHSKitty4ever 23
Why do you live with a druggie? YDI…