Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML
Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML
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Top comments
tipsy2013 24
I think OP's mom was telling her to go screw herself.
teentee401 37
Whovian. A fan of the show Doctor Who.
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Comments (152)
Surge_Heart 12
It has multiple purposes. Enjoy both ?
Enslaved 38
Did she mix up the hardware store with the sex shop?
Tezoma 28
I'd like to see a hardware store that sells sonic screwdrivers.
buddysboy9 11
"Enjoy your gift. I hope it comes in handy"- your mom
gallifreyanqueen 10
OMW just.. wow sorry OP. Hopefully you got more appropriate Whovian gifts too.
Armygirl93 10
awkwarrrrrd
Polynomial 28
Where can I get one?
sturschaedel 27
I want one too!
MELKOZAR 27
To everyone who doesn't know what a Whovian is. Whovian-SOMEONE ADDICTED TO DOCTOR WHO!!!
kalbrek009 20
Not sure who stole Dr Suess's term of whovian (from whoville) but the correct term would be whoian or whoaholic.
RobinGoodfellow 47
In which #52 et al. try to correct a fandom on what they call themselves.... "Correct term"? For a fandom? Nahh. The term appears to have been coined in 1980, I don't reeeaaaally think the fans need advice on a new one. As for Dr. Seuss, the residents of Whoville are called Whos. "All the Whos down in Whoville." I know my stuff. :)
lux0rd 18
How do you accidentally buy a *****? I can't imagine there are many normal (not sex shop) stores that sell them.
ImTheAlpha 30
Spencer's is one store I can think of. One second you're browsing t-shirts and jewelry and the next *BOOM* *****.
pigsfly24 6
#22 is right. You can't buy a ***** on accident. I wonder what else she bought by "mistake".
Armygirl93 10
I doesn't say whether OP is male or.female xD
PerditaDessa 38
The mother could have bought it online, and simply failed to read the full product description.
wyverntail 15
Maybe she got it on purpose and was trying to hint OP to get a date? Just a guess...
Zwerik 31
Well... at least it's a sonic screwdriver? :P
iAmPaul 49
This FML would be even funnier if OP were male.
Armygirl93 10
it doesnt say whether OP is male or female xD