Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML
Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML
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Top comments
tipsy2013 24
I think OP's mom was telling her to go screw herself.
teentee401 37
Whovian. A fan of the show Doctor Who.
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Comments (152)
wvcheesehead 13
That is a gift you should give back to your mother and tell her to shove it up her ass.
kalbrek009 20
Also, you "whovians" as you like to call yourselves might want to rethink using that term Dr Suess has a copywrite on that, I'd bet..maybe just call yourselves what you are "whoaholics"..lmao
laden_swallow09 35
No, those little people who live on a daffodil are just Whos, not Whovians. Do you even reading comprehension?
mrs_bruno_mars 14
Learn how to read.
LovelessAlex 18
Have fun with your sonic SCREWdriver.
mistress_paz 30
I don't understand the FML. It's an awesome, fun and funny gift!
wyverntail 15
What part of opening a sex you in front of your entire family don't you get? Also, OP could probably be a straight male for all we know, making it an even worse gift.
BrotherPhil 35
That need not make it useless. OP could always use it with their partner (s).
The_weird_one_2 13
I'm sorry this is perfect
aperron96 18
YDI for referring to yourself as a "whovian"
Kikiers21042 18
That's what our people in the dr who fandom calls themselves. A whovian
weveallbeenthere 30
I agree with #61.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
A sonic screwdriver shaped *****? That's great. You shouldn't be the embarrassed one OP, your mom should be.
minagiv 11
Aawww, she tried, at least!
TheBlakout 5
My mom just stuck to a poster of the Eleventh and an adipose stress toy. Good effort on your moms part, I guess? It could have been worse, though, keep that in mind! At least it wasn't a Sherlock T-shirt!
Coolaidegirl 18
Sherlock is absolutely wonderful! How dare you. Elementary on the other hand...
nodai 13
The degree of appropriateness varies depending on your gender. Which is it Mr. Anderson? Or shall I say, miss?