Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML
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Top comments
rg350dx 29
You could've just let it go and said you were so excited you shit your pants.
nothing92x 13
At least you didn't crap yourself with excitement!
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Comments (82)
zandergiacometti 4
Fry cook is a wonderful promotion
nikolkaw 9
I'm sure your manager would have been mature enough to understand the situation if you told him/her :) hopefully you still got the promotion :)
cmayer 20
I guess using "same difference" in that way is only a joke to people in my area bc CLEARLY it's not the same thing..
BradTheBrony 19
Guys guys I THINK I think the joke guys I hear me out I think the joke was that they, in most cases, ARE NOT the same thing. And that it would be a rare and strange thing for them to be. Just a thought.
fallslikedominos 10
well that's a shitty situation
unholyswiss 19
What kind of dickmonger revokes a potential promotion due to someone's visible lack of excitement? fyl op