Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML
Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Fredzter 0
HAHAHA!! He is my hero! If you don't want him, I'll take him!! :D
iDemonChild 0
Lol. Whipped cream and tickling your nose... Classic. =D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (183)
doggie3 0
Im sorry, but I have to agree with almost everyone else. Have a little fun and get him back!
watermind 0
That was awesome :D
Hockey_Chik 1
This is the cutest thing ever! He probably had handcuffs too but you were bitching too much to notice. :]
dayrin7 4
awww knowing my boyfriend this is something he would do :]
xoconnie 8
ohmygosh, thats not bad...get over it, he was trying to be funny. laugh it off(: anddd if u feel like u need revenge do it to him tmrw. lol
aback 5
I'd say wait till he passes out, then draw on his face with a Sharpie, but no--use a non-permanent marker.
ragsy 7
That was really passive agressive.
plexico 4
Come back when he puts battery acid on your hand and tickles your nose with a feather. In the meantime, if he's waking you up at 3AM with whipped cream, he obviously wants some pie. Give the man some pie! Blueberry, coconut cream, hair. . .
jonny2x4 0
Verrrrry mature. Don't let this one get away. He sounds like a prize.
blah123blah 0
Take a shower and put on your big girl panties.