Intimacy: Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 226

You deserved it 8 021

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 643

You deserved it 6 211

Kinky

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 527

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 629

You deserved it 6 600

By pipers - 02/05/2019 10:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 081

You deserved it 272

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 6 510

Sexy talk

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 293

You deserved it 8 498

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 249

You deserved it 5 686

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 417

You deserved it 54 829

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 267

You deserved it 2 296

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 7 724

vampgirl999 8

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:22

This would be a good time to stop having kitchen sex. Or never start.

JustBecausePie 12

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:21

Hey you can't hate it till you try it.

Comments

sailorkristina 11

Sunday 23 August 2015 22:15

is your husband the guy from epicmealtime?

trucker2 33

Sunday 23 August 2015 22:35

Can we all hear her hubby, honey, you smell like pork, something's a little fishy here !

SlapsKnee 12

Sunday 23 August 2015 23:13

mattrd_fml 31

Monday 24 August 2015 0:44

am I the only one curious as why this got so many you YDIs?

boonhower69 3

Monday 24 August 2015 0:59

hey bacons good on anything right...?

LyricaSilvan 29

Monday 24 August 2015 1:02

Why are so many people voting YDI on this? It's not like OP said they did it and got burnt or something.

JKPwnage 27

Monday 24 August 2015 5:27

Wait... Isn't that a Cards Against Humanity card?

dirtbikeguy 14

Monday 24 August 2015 6:01

What a pig.

dirtbikeguy 14

Monday 24 August 2015 6:03

Wow your husband must be insane. Sausage grease works a hell of a lot better.

samlovesham1234 9

Monday 24 August 2015 6:39

Um, ew?

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Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 375

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

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You deserved it 9

The Top

Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 414

You deserved it 9 054

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 165

You deserved it 5 641

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 205

You deserved it 20 489

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 422

You deserved it 4 696

Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 352

You deserved it 4 448

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 419

You deserved it 4 347