Intimacy: Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 226

You deserved it 8 021

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 643

You deserved it 6 211

Kinky

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 527

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 629

You deserved it 6 600

By pipers - 02/05/2019 10:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 081

You deserved it 272

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 6 510

Sexy talk

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 293

You deserved it 8 498

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 249

You deserved it 5 686

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 417

You deserved it 54 829

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 267

You deserved it 2 296

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 7 724

vampgirl999 8

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:22

This would be a good time to stop having kitchen sex. Or never start.

JustBecausePie 12

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:21

Hey you can't hate it till you try it.

Comments

Xion0014 20

Monday 24 August 2015 12:58

You might need to introduce him to good hygiene and common sense x:

Peyton_J_W 14

Monday 24 August 2015 15:32

?Bacon?

mbock 15

Tuesday 25 August 2015 5:17

Well...how was it?

madslurpee 8

Tuesday 25 August 2015 6:40

is mayonnaise a lube?

cjfred 13

Thursday 27 August 2015 12:28

Maybe he has fantasies of having oral sex with Miss Piggy from the Muppets, and this is the closest he could get.

BloodyGlass 10

Saturday 29 August 2015 8:36

"Only if you use gorilla glue on your dick and glue it to a accelerating car." X)

marcus071903 5

Sunday 30 August 2015 0:30

'Murica

chaylea 19

Tuesday 20 October 2015 4:13

That's nasty

DanielleinDC 33

Tuesday 28 June 2016 4:30

Uh,no. That's a good way to get a nasty infection. Your husband is an idiot.

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I agree, your life sucks 157 456

You deserved it 11 710

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You deserved it 1 441

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I agree, your life sucks 8 457

You deserved it 584

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I agree, your life sucks 36 990

You deserved it 79 240