Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML
Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML
Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML
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Top comments
sarcasticzilla 9
And why exactly were you eating Nutella on the toilet?
juliaannw 11
Wipe a handful of nutella right on her face.
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Comments (77)
Chellec2013 28
Perfect example of why not to eat on the toilet.
lysx84 24
Faeces* scenario*
sassy2085 16
YDI who eats on the toilet so unhygienic eww
texashater75 16
Tell your grandma it's still better then here cooking
AviKerensky 17
Why the **** did you have a spoonful of Nutella in the bathroom in the first place?
Vegetarian27 24
That's why you don't eat while on the toilet. It's disgusting.
Jemm_fml 29
Put a spoon of Nutella on her bed.
TheSofaKing 7
You do not shit at the table. Why would you eat on the toilet?
Jemm_fml 29
Your comment makes it look like you're scolding the poor dog in your avatar. :'( Edit - er.. cat! *puts on glasses*
Cazz91 21
That can be debatable between a very young child, elderly or a person that has a terrible issue with their bowels. Accidents happen. I do agree with you though. I don't think OP fits a medical, age or intoxicated situation to have an accident at the table.
smw83 21
#44's comment made me think of Luis Bunuel
Epikouros 31
WTF, what kind of weirdo would use a spoon to eat their own shit?
OnlyTheDarkest 17
What kind of utensil do You use? :O
thatgirl1299 11
And this is the new America everybody!!!