Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML
Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML
Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML
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Top comments
sarcasticzilla 9
And why exactly were you eating Nutella on the toilet?
juliaannw 11
Wipe a handful of nutella right on her face.
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Comments (77)
emuexport 4
Are you german ????
vffjvsegb 11
Da **** you doing eating Nutella and taking a shit?
perdix 29
There are poop particles floating about in the air of a bathroom, so your grandma is partly right: you're probably eating a blend of 90% Nutella/10% poo.
jw90 18
I know Nutella is delicious, but eating it while on the toilet? That's just unappetizing.
simsgirlgem 25
op I'm sorry but why are you eating in the bathroom that is the most unsanitary place I can think of
theITguy 9
What do you expect her to think? You're eating a brown, gooey, and maybe even chunky substance. Sounds like shit to me.
MyS3lf 24
Yeah, YDI, eating in the bathroom is nasty, especially while you're actually on the toilet. Just ew.
ifavela89 13
I've never heard of someone eating nutella on the toilet its kinda gross
SammyS2012 21
33 is proof that Americans are not the only ignorant ones
John_in_Oz 12
If you hadn't mentioned the nutella to anyone you could have just said "The old lady's losing it."