Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML
Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML
Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML
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Top comments
sarcasticzilla 9
And why exactly were you eating Nutella on the toilet?
juliaannw 11
Wipe a handful of nutella right on her face.
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Comments (77)
crazytrainer 5
Not going to go so far as YDI but you are the architect of your own downfall. Why on earth didn't you lock the door?
joea21 21
Who eats Nutella on the crapper anyways? No wonder they believe her
mariepastyglue 30
Ya you should have waited until you were done using the bathroom. Nutella is good but not so good you have to eat it while on the toilet. I really can't eat or drink anything while using the bathroom the thought alone makes me a little queasy.
frontmanmike 14
Eating Nutella off a spoon while on the toilet? You have a serious problem, OP. That is some seriously unsanitary stuff. Wow.
hollyanne27 9
#21 I completely agree! He should have eaten it off a piece of toast!
Shade1982 20
Lol, what kind of fancy story did they tell you?? You don't die from eating your own feces :p...
ghil15 8
in a worst case cenario it can even save you from starving... lol
DeeLaShee 13
Its disgusting to eat in a bathroom, when you flush the toilet, minuscule poop particles fly out & cover whatever's in a close distance (this is why you're supposed to close the lid before you flush but most ppl don't) & plus where do you sit you're spoon & jar once its time to wipe.? This is just wrong in so many ways
CharresBarkrey 15
Maybe OP is like Butters from South Park and sits "Reverse cowgirl" on the seat so they can use the tank as a table.
lolita88_fml 27
That is disgusting, how the hell can you bring food into the room you shit in? You so deserve it, ugh.
wildnargles 15
Embrace it! Let your freak flag fly!
wildnargles 15
Well, I'm pretty sure the girls from 2 girls 1 cup are alive and healthy.