Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML
Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
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Top comments
bobbycorwen 5
That's great news for in the long run! For now, no. I am sorry she's a cheating *****. :(
kjcamaro3 5
No diaper changing for you...more good news!!!
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Comments (230)
Pentium_4 27
i'm sorry buddy :( girls suck
yahoowizard 16
Only if his girl stopped at the "sucking"
Dcm210 19
get rid of her and save yourself some money. hope you find something better.
little_monster21 0
screw that cheating *****. be glad its not your problem! :)
kateinurarms 13
#15 i think him screwing her was the problem in the first place...
Ins_Knie 2
It might still be his problem. It is not clear whether he's the father, only that she is a cheater. F the kid's life and possibly OP's for her poor choices.
Fancyy 0
No child support; more good news than bad(: if she would get pregnant by another guy she deserves to be kicked to the curb, more good news!
Jorcar 8
I can see a break up in her future.
every1luvsboners 11
This can only means two things: 1) You're sterile and have a micro penis. 2) She's the Virgin Mary Am I correct? No way she would cheat on you. Who does that?
Poser1337 5
You tried to be witty. It didn't work. Sad, as you're one of my favorite FML'ers.
every1luvsboners 11
I never "try" to do anything. I'm past the point of giving a shit about trying to entertain you sniveling little ****-munches. I'm here for my pleasure. Blow me, madam.
Amrel 10
Do you really look forward to his comments? No offense boner, but you shouldnt really care about a persons comment. Boner has the right idea, an idea more people need to accept, and that is to not give a ****!
ThecomingofTan 9
I agree. You have the right idea.
Llamacod 11
I'm with boners on this one, I'm here only to entertain myself and if I entertain you too then it's a win-win and if I make you upset the it's just a big ******* win for me
ramboetan 0
laugh in her face and say to her that you wish it's a siamese twin.
bingababe 16
You're 12, aren't you?
kimmi41509 10
You are NOT the father!
superpoptart 24
She was referencing the Maury show.
Amrel 10
Misfit was being sarcastic
kimmi41509 10
Thanks, I was referencing the Maury show assholes!
desireev 18
111- Where did Misfit comment?
the_glyda 0
Cool. Now you can break up with her and hope the asshole who knocked her up beats her.
every1luvsboners 11
The_glyda, you're a ******* idiot. You want someone to beat a pregnant woman? Get back to your doublewide before Jethro notices you're gone.
littlemsweirdo 12
Bad news, she cheated on you However Good news, it's over:) problem solved. Seriously just break the relationship so it doesn't get worse.
Amrel 10
If hes the father he cant really break it up though
intothecrypt 3
If she admitted she cheated like that then OP has grounds to do whatever the **** he wants
DrMaverickRanger 4
And if he is the father his kid will think he is a cowardly dick in a few years time - way to think in black and white...
Llamacod 11
If he is the father he doesn't have to be with the ***** and can still be in the kids life, watching think in black and white yourself
Llamacod 11
* way to think * not watching
bingababe 16
A cowardly dick would stay in a relationship with someone who cheats on them. Way to show your kid self respect.