Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
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Top comments
theworldismad 10
well congrats on being a daddy but it doesn't matter if it's the first time you have sex. sex is sex
Posthuman 26
First time or not, she can still get pregnant...I thought they taught you that in health class.
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Comments (238)
My_Life24 22
Yay!! A baby!!
beclaurela 18
Are you stupid? 1st time or the 100th time. You still ****** without protection.
aeonsoul 12
Who do you know they didn't use any? Condoms and pills are not 100% effective
UnluckyGenius 21
To quote Red Foreman "Dumbass!"
maddiewoah 15
Don't be dumb, OP. Sex is sex, first time or not.
ksks1234 33
Pregnancy can happen, even if you use protection, so I assume you were smart enough to try and protect yourself. Is it a Dashiki type of thing? If she is claiming (and getting a positive) two days after you had sex, call her out on it. Just do the math to figure out if you could be the father.
FrankHotpants 31
Well sir, it's time to grow up and be a man.
sugarbear0727 19
Some women just know. I absolutely had no clue till I went to a clinic. My only symptom was the missing periods, and my cycle is always weird, so I didn't think anything of it. I'm almost 7 months pregnant now and am glad to say I've never suffered any symptoms besides the missing periods. I guess I was just lucky. Congrats on the baby. If you have doubts, just go to the doctor when they do the first sonogram, that'll tell you how far along she is, and will assure you of whether or not its yours. If you're still confused, ask the doctor if she's far enough along to coincide with the first time you two had sex.
Xotoolyxo 16
Get a DNA test while you're at it
perdix 31
You should have gone gay in that three-way. Sometimes it's hard to take one for the team, but see what happens when you don't?
TechFire 25
You guys are dumb. He's not the father. That's the FML here.
CharresBarkrey 16
*facepalm*