Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
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Top comments
theworldismad 10
well congrats on being a daddy but it doesn't matter if it's the first time you have sex. sex is sex
Posthuman 26
First time or not, she can still get pregnant...I thought they taught you that in health class.
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Comments (238)
naya_bingi 11
Ki
DoginDarkness 8
How long is "recently" and Is this an example of selective reading?
Jaguwar 1
For the record, I'm a three-time mom. The last time, I KNEW right away, but second-guessed myself because, like most of you here, I figured there was no way I *could* know. I thought it was a myth. Turns out I was right the first time. And I know it was *that* night for two reasons: in the 4 months between conception and me realizing "Gee, I haven't had a period in months, maybe I should check that!" we didn't have any sex at all. Nor had we had any in the weeks before that night. (Needless to say, I was full of FML at the time.) Sometimes women DO just know.
WhoopWhoop321 18
Why would YOUR life suck in the first place? You got HER pregnant!
griffy14 9
Key word is recently. You won't just up preggers on a test the next week. It takes a few weeks for it to show up on a test usually. He's insinuating that she's cheating on him.
theandrewdays 2
Probably someone else's child and she knew of the pregnancy and that's why she had sex with you.
2lovelygirls 11
If it was her first time congrats. If not then DNA testing is in your future.
WhiteCrimson 23
Dude thats why you double bag just to make sure theres no leakage......oh and your grounded for life....lol
VentingToRandoms 8
#134 PLEASE tell me you don't believe that double bagging works. If you double bag the latex rubs against each other and will actually increase the chances of pregnancy. And when I say 'increase the chances' I'm comparing it to using a single condom. Two is better than none but if you use two to 'make sure there's no leakage' then you need to go back to grade school health class.
lienaa 3
what do you mean recently? The test only shows after two weeks or something. Make sure to do the math to see if it really is yours.
AngelLovesDerby 10
How the *** do you "feel pregnant" is my question...
mrsstaken 12
get pregnant and you'll find out
prljm10 10
I am sure others will say people with IQ's as low as yours shouldn't be procreating. But my only question is how someone with your IQ even learned to have sex in the first place?!?