Love and Health: Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy... - FML

By sadh3 - 13/10/2017 04:30

Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 746

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Same thing different taste

By Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 179

You deserved it 2 620

By Mmm - 25/07/2015 10:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 363

You deserved it 23 124

By Jessie - 22/08/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 321

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 694

You deserved it 3 658

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - 13/07/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 510

You deserved it 1 985

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 884

You deserved it 8 510

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 085

You deserved it 1 282

By Anonymous - 05/12/2012 10:52 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 964

You deserved it 2 874

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 862

You deserved it 2 815

By Username - 15/09/2010 18:02 - France

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 034

You deserved it 4 814

Next

Top comments

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 13 October 2017 4:55

Get her an IQ test as well, but she may pee on it.

Razell 13

Tuesday 10 October 2017 18:49

...that's not how any of this works.

Comments

Razell 13

Tuesday 10 October 2017 18:49

...that's not how any of this works.

GhostFox 33

Tuesday 10 October 2017 21:45

Pregnancy brain? Or very serious anxiety. Explain with simple words and gentle tone.

really_dad? 14

Wednesday 11 October 2017 3:10

Well, what were the results

Tripartita 44

Friday 13 October 2017 4:45

What a moron. Obviously YOU’D need to take the test to determine whether or not it’s theirs.

simcityguy09 19

Tuesday 17 October 2017 23:15

Lol

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 13 October 2017 4:55

Get her an IQ test as well, but she may pee on it.

ViviMage 38

Friday 13 October 2017 5:26

Does pregnancy cause blonde moments?

Glynnis Sevillano 8

Saturday 14 October 2017 9:34

Someone Google it

jfsiv 17

Friday 13 October 2017 5:29

You apparently didn't pick her because of her intelligence.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 13 October 2017 5:49

What a dumbass, that wouldn’t prove anything! She’d need video of you secretly implanting someone else’s fertilized ovum into you while you slept. You didn’t do that, did you?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 13 October 2017 5:49

I mean “into her.”

Christina Winden 22

Friday 13 October 2017 6:19

Hopefully the baby inherits his/her intelligence from your side of the family.

Glynnis Sevillano 8

Saturday 14 October 2017 9:35

I don't. He picked her.

piinksock 17

Friday 13 October 2017 7:13

Pregnancy brain is a real thing!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 584

You deserved it 16 950

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 525

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 463

You deserved it 7 745

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 164

You deserved it 8 347

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 075

You deserved it 5 588

Today, I wore a Stanford college T-shirt to school. My Spanish teacher took one look at it and said "You wish". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 340

You deserved it 8 310

Today, after the worst year possible (3 herniated discs, my brother-in-law, who was my boss, replaced me at work during my disability, and my girlfriend dumped me during that disability). I had to go to my sister and brother-in-law's marriage renewal because my mom guilted me into it. My ex's dad and brother were also there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 88