Love and Health: Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy... - FML

By sadh3 - 13/10/2017 04:30

Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 501

You deserved it 752

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 2 627

By Mmm - 25/07/2015 10:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 367

You deserved it 23 136

By Jessie - 22/08/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 333

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 3 659

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - 13/07/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 527

You deserved it 1 988

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 895

You deserved it 8 515

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 101

You deserved it 1 286

By Anonymous - 05/12/2012 10:52 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 974

You deserved it 2 879

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 880

You deserved it 2 821

By Username - 15/09/2010 18:02 - France

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 057

You deserved it 4 829

Next

Top comments

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 13 October 2017 4:55

Get her an IQ test as well, but she may pee on it.

Razell 13

Tuesday 10 October 2017 18:49

...that's not how any of this works.

Comments

Razell 13

Tuesday 10 October 2017 18:49

...that's not how any of this works.

GhostFox 33

Tuesday 10 October 2017 21:45

Pregnancy brain? Or very serious anxiety. Explain with simple words and gentle tone.

really_dad? 14

Wednesday 11 October 2017 3:10

Well, what were the results

Tripartita 44

Friday 13 October 2017 4:45

What a moron. Obviously YOU’D need to take the test to determine whether or not it’s theirs.

simcityguy09 19

Tuesday 17 October 2017 23:15

Lol

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 13 October 2017 4:55

Get her an IQ test as well, but she may pee on it.

ViviMage 39

Friday 13 October 2017 5:26

Does pregnancy cause blonde moments?

Glynnis Sevillano 8

Saturday 14 October 2017 9:34

Someone Google it

jfsiv 17

Friday 13 October 2017 5:29

You apparently didn't pick her because of her intelligence.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 13 October 2017 5:49

What a dumbass, that wouldn’t prove anything! She’d need video of you secretly implanting someone else’s fertilized ovum into you while you slept. You didn’t do that, did you?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 13 October 2017 5:49

I mean “into her.”

Christina Winden 22

Friday 13 October 2017 6:19

Hopefully the baby inherits his/her intelligence from your side of the family.

Glynnis Sevillano 8

Saturday 14 October 2017 9:35

I don't. He picked her.

piinksock 17

Friday 13 October 2017 7:13

Pregnancy brain is a real thing!

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 2 303

The Top

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 138

You deserved it 9 729

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 267

You deserved it 2 460

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 813

You deserved it 51 991

Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 397

You deserved it 155

Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 386

You deserved it 1 624

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 600

You deserved it 58 291