By Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 095
You deserved it 2 607

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Guess its time to call Maury.

You're better off without her, OP!


You're better off without her, OP!

We need a follow up OP. When you figure it out.

This is stand up comedy material OP. Sorry it's your life though.

Why? How do we know she just doesn't know the difference between the words "pregnancy" and "paternity"?

96 - That's what I'm hoping, for OP's sake.

Easy cum, easy go

That's what I was thinking, too. I don't think you can even get a paternity test until your 8-10th week; a missed period is closer to four weeks. She didn't even say "pregnant," just that she missed her period. She may have meant to say pregnancy test.

Guess its time to call Maury.


i would recommend steve wilkos


True, but I was thinking something along the lines of Jerry Springer.. that's where all the crazy shit happens

You are not the father!

They don't use enough enzymes that cut it then allow it to move the DNA through the current allowing for a higher chance of getting a positive.

what's that?

Can't wait for your Maury episode to air!

Here's hoping she's pulling some twisted joke ?

Oh she pulled something twisted alright, but she took it harder than a joke.

there is a little chance that she just mixed up the words and wanted to say pregnancy test?!

That took a sudden turn. Sorry your girlfriend is a slut OP, hopefully she finds out who it is and it works out.

Leave her OP, she shouldnt need a parternity test to know if it's yours. You deserve better, FYL.

No shit Sherlock. He even said, "I wasn't aware we needed a paternity test" showing that he fucking knows she is cheating.

#14 is right... Even though he was... "aggressive", he's right.

Don't leave! Child support is a bish

78, He doesn't need to pay child support if he can prove it isn't his kid.

Damn #14 no need to be so rude. Chill out man this place is to relax and enjoy others misfortunes!

But even if it is his child, will he have to pay anything although she cheated on him? That's quite awful.

I'd fight that in court if I were him

Um...Yeah. What does them cheating have to do with you supporting your child financially? Wouldn't change the fact that it's his.

Um yah cheating would because if she fucked another dude then it's probably not his kid. So yah cheating does have to do with child support.

mariri9206 32

144, Cheating has nothing to do with child support. If it's his, he should pay child support, no matter what -it's not the kid's fault and the kid shouldn't be punished for the mother's mistake. If it's not his, he shouldn't have to pay anything - they're not married, just dating, so, if it's not his kid, he doesn't owe anything.

mariri9206 32

123, are you saying the kid should suffer and not have the dad help the kid financially because the mother cheated? Why blame the kid - it's not their fault and they shouldn't be punished for their mother's mistake.

Sorry to hear that OP. I hope you left her

Well that escalated quickly

You don't need her, if it's yours, be involved with it, but don't be with her. But if it's yours, congrats! FYL OP

That didn't actually make sense... Are you saying something like "dump her but be involved with the kid of the guy who fucked your now-ex-girlfriend"?

No you moron. he said if the kid is OP'S to be involved, not with some random guy's kid. #11 said "if it's yours". The reading comprehension skills on FML are lacking.

So are the typing skills

it made perfect sense to me. sorry she's fucking around, but I really hope she misspoke and meant pregnancy test and not paternity.

Most of my typing is pretty decent. I forgot to capitalize a letter, but I rely on auto-capping from my phone. I'm not writing a resrarch paper. It' FML, not class.