By Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 191
You deserved it 2 627
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Comments

jake_braves 25

We need a follow up OP. When you figure it out.

28 2
Ms_ValS 27

This is stand up comedy material OP. Sorry it's your life though.

10 3
ThatHorse 15

Why? How do we know she just doesn't know the difference between the words "pregnancy" and "paternity"?

50 2
Lalala579121 27

96 - That's what I'm hoping, for OP's sake.

30 1
lainlain_fml 15

That's what I was thinking, too. I don't think you can even get a paternity test until your 8-10th week; a missed period is closer to four weeks. She didn't even say "pregnant," just that she missed her period. She may have meant to say pregnancy test.

6 0
whatunicorn 17

True, but I was thinking something along the lines of Jerry Springer.. that's where all the crazy shit happens

15 2
Jachin357 28

You are not the father!

16 1
djdeadly 14

They don't use enough enzymes that cut it then allow it to move the DNA through the current allowing for a higher chance of getting a positive.

0 8
easilyboredone 8

Here's hoping she's pulling some twisted joke ?

116 3
Pleonasm 35

Oh she pulled something twisted alright, but she took it harder than a joke.

90 1
toastbrot 9

there is a little chance that she just mixed up the words and wanted to say pregnancy test?!

24 0
OceanGod 7

That took a sudden turn. Sorry your girlfriend is a **** OP, hopefully she finds out who it is and it works out.

58 10
Brunofk7 16

Leave her OP, she shouldnt need a parternity test to know if it's yours. You deserve better, FYL.

74 8
NickACD 27

No shit Sherlock. He even said, "I wasn't aware we needed a paternity test" showing that he ******* knows she is cheating.

10 71
Fmelikeuhateme 24

#14 is right... Even though he was... "aggressive", he's right.

23 9
Geckosrock99 33

78, He doesn't need to pay child support if he can prove it isn't his kid.

18 0
Brunofk7 16

Damn #14 no need to be so rude. Chill out man this place is to relax and enjoy others misfortunes!

9 3
Malsain_fml 10

But even if it is his child, will he have to pay anything although she cheated on him? That's quite awful.

2 4
NickACD 27

I'd fight that in court if I were him

0 3
KrDizzy 16

Um...Yeah. What does them cheating have to do with you supporting your child financially? Wouldn't change the fact that it's his.

5 2
countryb_cth 38

Um yah cheating would because if she ****** another dude then it's probably not his kid. So yah cheating does have to do with child support.

1 3
mariri9206 32

144, Cheating has nothing to do with child support. If it's his, he should pay child support, no matter what -it's not the kid's fault and the kid shouldn't be punished for the mother's mistake. If it's not his, he shouldn't have to pay anything - they're not married, just dating, so, if it's not his kid, he doesn't owe anything.

0 0
mariri9206 32

123, are you saying the kid should suffer and not have the dad help the kid financially because the mother cheated? Why blame the kid - it's not their fault and they shouldn't be punished for their mother's mistake.

0 0
SebastianCT 14

Sorry to hear that OP. I hope you left her

8 6
GloUp_fml 18

You don't need her, if it's yours, be involved with it, but don't be with her. But if it's yours, congrats! FYL OP

17 22
Fmelikeuhateme 24

That didn't actually make sense... Are you saying something like "dump her but be involved with the kid of the guy who ****** your now-ex-girlfriend"?

1 23
JustinJK 21

No you moron. he said if the kid is OP'S to be involved, not with some random guy's kid. #11 said "if it's yours". The reading comprehension skills on FML are lacking.

38 3
sweetbliss3 37

it made perfect sense to me. sorry she's ******* around, but I really hope she misspoke and meant pregnancy test and not paternity.

10 0
JustinJK 21

Most of my typing is pretty decent. I forgot to capitalize a letter, but I rely on auto-capping from my phone. I'm not writing a resrarch paper. It' FML, not class.

1 8