Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
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Comments (459)
TheIllusionist 0
you must be doing it wrong
aerogxt 7
Next time, have her taste it instead. It's tough to pick out latex from the smell if sweat, it'd be easier to distinguish the taste, or so I'm told. let her lick it to find out next time ;)
JRFaceless 8
Why you comin home At 5 in the morn' Something's going on Can I smell yo dick?
Mxpxdude189 0
Tell her you didn't use a rubber this time
triggerit 5
time to change your dick...
boobookittyfk 3
ha ha that's silly shouldn't she know you don't wear condoms ha
danx900 7
I wouldn't be dealing with that shit.
dadof2 4
next time sway your hips alittle and smack her in the face with it then she can smell it until she showers
Surferbro 5
New gf bro
LilysTillie 7
Say "While you're there...." Sorry, I couldn't resist. Seriously though, I'd let her know that she better figure this out & get over it, or you're done. Can't have a good relationship without trust. Unless of course you've given her reason to be concerned???
ReynshineCutting 10
"She" better figure this out and get over it? I'm sorry. I always thought a relationship involved 2 people. Silly me. When you're in a relationship, you work on issues together. There's absolutely no reason not to. If you work on them together, you're actively involved in helping your significant other, and supporting them while they do. If you say "go deal with your own problems" it shows you really don't give a **** and couldn't care less about the other person.