By Anonymous - 10/04/2013 09:06 - United States

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 989
You deserved it 4 213

Same thing different taste

Top comments

perdix 29

Gack! We don't know the OP's gender, so it's hard to make a fitting comment. This is why we stick to cars.


hopefully OP isn't a male. If he is, he might want to ask the doctor if he is still able to reproduce. xD

It would be just as bad if it were a female! There is ... An... Uh ...hole... Which can be ripped open

blackman100 20

But it is so much easier to damage parts if you are a male. The likelihood of tearing that hole from falling on a saddle is slim compared to bruising or popping a ball.

Actually I know of women who have had that hole ripped open due to evil saddle horns combined with spooked horses. Makes me shudder thinking about it

Actually, I'm nit quite sure which is worse. For guys, there is no muscle or any sort tissue to absorb some of the impact, just a thin layer of skin.

Dear lord! I'm hoping this would wear off. Perhaps best you do not have any flings with the horse for awhile.

OP, are you serious! SOCIALIZATION! You should have exposed everything to this horse that it could possibly come into contact with in it's life by now. If she's old enough to ride, you have had plenty of time to expose her to the world and reward her for calm behavior.

You did read the "new" part right? And anything can spook a horse that you'd think shouldn't. You can get spooked by things and noises, so why can't a horse?

crazytwinsmom 25

OP said 'new horse', so they haven't had them for all that socialization time. Read before lashing out.

*sniiiiiiiff* Mmmmmm. Get that new horse smell.

RedPillSucks 31

Depends on which end you sniff from...

mansen 15

#18, have you been around a wide variety of horses??? One of my dads team roping horses that could be ridden in parades, used in rodeos, cow cutting, etc, so in general pretty placid and socialized, had a weird thing about long waving grass shadows in the distance. it was just his quirk. Also horses can get startled or spooked just like humans when something unexpected and loud comes out of nowhere and scares them. They are not complete placid, unemotional drones. Any horse no matter how well trained and socialized is going to spook if say....someone hid behind a corner and suddenly jumped out in its face waving arms and screaming. person may get some hooves in face as horse rears, but horse will spook.

Zack6849 8
euphoricness 28

Or a wheel chair - once you go horse... You're full of remorse? ...

Everything has to run it's course just watch out because you already the the source of your pain as it radiates through the veins of your body so remember grasp the reigns and try to Be careful

^ooh, a rap! That's better than a pun. Kudos.

Zack6849 8

get well soon OP, hopefully no permanent damage was done.

Ouch! Sounds like a spark of bad luck op. Hope no permanent damage was done and that you're back to riding soon!

little_star78 13

At least you didn't fall and land on your head, i've had that happen before but still fyl

5 You've never really ridden till you till you've fallen off. However that has to be the worst case of luck to be thrown up and land on the saddle horn

I bet that hurt like hell! I've been bucked off a horse many times, the worst was flipping over the horses head landing on my back on the ground. I hope you are ok OP!

BellaBelle_fml 23

When my dad was young, around 6-7, his family bought a pony for them to ride. The seller didn't tell them that she was pregnant. My dad was riding her pretty far away and when he nudged her sides to go faster. It hurt her so she just took off super fast and bucked. Somehow the saddle wasn't on properly and it loosened. He and the saddle started sliding down under the pony. All my dad could think of is his father saying, "No matter what, you hold onto that pony!" So he just held on for dear life and was dragged a good distance. When the pony finally stopped he had no other choice than to walk her all the way back home. His mom had to help him remove dozens of stones, twigs, and other debris embedded into his back with tweezers. He still has the scars and it's actually caused a lot of back acne for him. Poor guy.

little_star78 13

I got my foot caught in the sit-up the last time my stallion tried to buck me off. That was a trip, there wasn't much of me dragging on the ground though and it didn't take me too long to get free. Scared the hell out of my mom tho.

little_star78 13

*stirrup…stupid auto correct

dreamtosing 15

I had to jump off a horse once when he refused a jump. It was that or get scraped off the saddle. I've had my fair share of falls, but for 10 years of riding, nothing bad.

Ouch. Hope you feel better soon, OP. That's a true series of unfortunate events. o.O

perdix 29

Gack! We don't know the OP's gender, so it's hard to make a fitting comment. This is why we stick to cars.

Yes, I feel that a FML that literally includes the phrase "between my legs" should include the poster's gender.

Um, that's a pretty sensitive area for the ladies, too. Any girl riding a bicycle that's had a mishap and wracked her nether bits on the frame can vouch for that. (Also why it sucks to ride a boney horse bareback)

Thanks, Perdix! You've spawned a new research topic for me -- injuries from horses vs. injuries from cars.

#44, are you talking to me or #8, because neither of us said it wasn't a sensitive area for the ladies. Not sure who you're talking to.

RedPillSucks 31

I think she was just making commentary, not trying to rebut a statement. Did anyone think that OP could have landed rectally on the horn??

#62 while wearing ass-less chaps?... Nope, didn't think of that.

I can second that, there's a horse I ride who has got the boniest withers EVER.

TwoOneFive 11

Getting kick hurts more, at least you didn't fall off after and get kicked

Ultimate_No 7

Explain to me how a horse is going to kick someone while they're riding it.

Llama_Face89 33

#9 OP said nothing about the horse kicking him/her at all.

Save a cowboy: don't ride horses. Too many possible crotch injuries for a mode of transportation.

monnanon 13

i always thought the phrase was save a horse ride a cowboy

Yes. But from his last statement, he was joking about crotch injuries.