Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
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Top comments
Astraea 0
definitely an fml, i can imagine how you feel right now. **** that bitch with a huge dry stick in the butt then dump her!!
mponce12 0
what a dirty little bitch
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Comments (128)
seeimdee 0
dump that bitch.
gurlucrazy 0
now you have a free cheat on her, pick some one hotttttt
beer01 0
Go and slam some other girl and call her too saying that anal feels so good with this other girl that's tight.
Leon111775 0
sorry dude. I even lubed it!
perdix 31
She was just training to get ready to do a double penetration with you. Aw, that's so sweet of her.
spaceshan69 0
**** her in the ass one- pump balls-deep no lube, drop a load, then wipe your dick off on her curtains or stuffed animals and walk out and never give her the time of day again
MrNismo 0
I like 16-ratmules idea with the whole quartet thing that way tge **** could have a constant reminder of how much of a **** bag she is and so people could stare at her saying look at that **** lol holy **** I mispelled a word I hope the grammar police doesn't come and get me ahhh
durtysanch 0
u better dump that *****!
MiszCher 0
your gf's a *****! get a new one and move on.....
TattedDownJah 2
dat shit was funny