Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
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Top comments
Astraea 0
definitely an fml, i can imagine how you feel right now. **** that bitch with a huge dry stick in the butt then dump her!!
mponce12 0
what a dirty little bitch
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Comments (128)
ratmule 0
make sure you dump that ***** in the harshest way possible. maybe a barber shop quartet could follow her around singing you are dumped you fat slag. just an idea.
ringmybell_fml 0
brilliant.
Terwilliger 0
someone likes cyanide and happiness
theian01 3
That's what I thought when I read "barbershop quartet"
babybubz 0
ew?
Jaguar1234 0
wow that really sucks man. I'd deff dump her
wezywei 0
well tht sucks for her tsktsktsk the tgings ppl do when they r drunk
theian01 3
Like post on FML?
RedSnappah 0
Fyl. I'd be bummed if I didn't get anal either
Laurendorcus 0
Thats so awful...you should have told her you had bad reception and couldnt hear her so she should text everything to you....then post her texts one by one onto her myspace, facebook and twitter accounts. You would have the original texts as proof on your phone if anyone thought you were lying. muwahaha!
yungjct 0
dump him, slap her....but seriously FYL
ButtNekked 0
#23 why not record her on the phone? she can easily say someone stole her phone and sent that.
xoluvinshayxo 0
wow... she shoulda chewed it over with a twix...
rockintothebeat 0
LMAO!! hahahaha
purplemnm 9
win!
greenlime_fml 3
hahahaha best comment EVER
xoluvinshayxo 0
thanksss (:
kaitlinQ 0
hhahahaha ya 26 said it all!!!!! hhahahahaha
lucampillo 0
call her tonight and tell her how love sucking dick before kissing het
polarice24 2
hey sorry man that bitch does some ******* good ******** though. But hey if you leave her I'll just take her back with my 10" ******* hard dick