Health: Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into...

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 088

You deserved it 3 661

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Same thing different taste

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 620

You deserved it 4 060

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 5 407

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 619

You deserved it 36 067

By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 298

You deserved it 34 555

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 318

You deserved it 5 165

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 120

You deserved it 15 177

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 124

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 253

You deserved it 27 567

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 660

You deserved it 527

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 979

You deserved it 7 499

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:04

Sorry, but domestic abuse is not something you joke about. You should beat her for that. Er, discuss it.

TransitionCovert 6

Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:03

Now you can beat her.

Comments

GvIntense 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:13

give her a cookie

louie111887 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:21

dude no way she is saying that ?! that's all bad my friend. don't get arrested. be careful.

minidinosaurgoes 9

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:22

damn... first, i hope u break up with her, and second, she should be hsppy to hav a non abusive bf and not pretend wen a lot of people do have abusive partners so maybe she should switch places with one of them and realize how dum it is 2 use sumptin like that as an excuse!

WhatTheFuq 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 5:14

My IQ just dropped 10 points by reading that. Now I'm left with 8.

kcnutt10 1

Tuesday 18 January 2011 8:46

Damn, you're grammar doesn't have to be perfect, but at least learn how to ******* spell simple words!

lalizard_ocho 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 12:23

Damn. This shit makes no flippin sense? Were you drunk?

IneffableLullaby 13

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:28

Dump her. No partner should ever make up a rumor that could cause serious consequences such as that, especially over something as insignificant as clumsiness.

Chris19801012 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:34

That f'ing bitch!!!! Get rid of her!

swampstomper 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:44

that really sux

Das_Judenburg 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:23

haha cripple

KayyLily 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:54

dump the bitch.

taticalnNinja 5

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:01

That's a win, jus sayin

minidinosaurgoes 9

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:49

no it's not! people die from abusive relationships so it's nutin to joke about, JUST SAYING

docscientist 9

Tuesday 18 January 2011 5:37

Don't blame him 48, he's just a kid.

Leyla13 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 6:57

Ur hot haha randomness

valri3 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:02

That's why I've seen all these weird sex related and train FMLs. o.0 (joking)

keepmeonthedl 7

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:03

Your girlfriend is dumb. No one should ever use an excuse like that. That's a serious issue. She doesn't deserve you if she's going to make up lies like that.