Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
What was her costume? Trampire?
welsea28 6
She probably felt guilty...either way sorry OP
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Comments (217)
Zestus 19
kick her to the curb
goldfishgod 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're heartbroke, but you're still loc'd.
pattyshivlee 5
Looks like she's already there. Get it? Anyone? No? Okay...
astoryofroses 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Halloween is the one night when a girl can dress like a total **** and no one can say anything about it
freshberries22 17
34 She's allowed to dress like one not act like it. The op's girlfriend should be ashamed.
meganfoxissexy 0
What a hoe
Enslaved 36
34 is just quoting "Mean Girls". Of course dressing and acting/being slutty is not the same thing.
christyxbee 15
Send her back to her home on ***** island - where all the ****** belong.
SirCharles83 13
69- any chance you can give me directions there? Seems like it would take all of the work out of it.
innavoiG 9
I just love the word skimpy.
RedPillSucks 31
What a rake
perdix 29
#1, but what if she looks like Mick Jagger? What ever happened to Ke$ha anyways?
VBjew 3
That's irrelevant. Who cares what happened to Kesha. She ****** up. It doesn't matter who it was with or what they look like.
the_true_batman 10
Why do people hate 10's comment? I liked it.
spazz666 18
Are you guys seriously not understanding Perdix's comment? Someone mentioned he should "kick her to the curb". Do the lyrics "but we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger" not sound familiar? I'm amazed that had to be explained.
gc327072 30
69, 70, & 73- They sell beer on ***** island, but the only kind they sell is Hoegaarden.
VBjew 3
144- I got the joke. I just thought it was in bad taste.
AKGirlinSD 20
144, I got it but was too lazy to try and explain it, such as you did.
tjv3 10
OP change this to read your now ex gf
hello01 11
Mean Girls !
Pugs_not_drugs 9
this idea is screwed if any guys find out where it is
RainCl0ud 22
144, not everyone has the same trash music taste as you.
welsea28 6
She probably felt guilty...either way sorry OP
UberNova 18
If I was OP, I would not care if she felt guilty, being drunk is not an excuse to cheat; I don't know what it is about now-a-days but it seems like more people think it is okay to cheat (or the same number of people do and we hear about it more) either way: dump her, maybe even a back-hand.
freshberries22 17
24 I agree that it's not ok to cheat or to use alcohol as an excuse. But I don't agree with her being backhanded over it (not sure if it was sarcasm or not in your comment). The only way to deal with it is to meet her at the curb with her bags packed.
Codezlol 21
Yeah physical abuse is not the way to go, no matter the circumstance. I am sure op would feel like backhanding her, but its not the right thing to do. Be the bigger man, put on your boots and walk away from the relationship and never associate yourself with her again. Ofcourse it will be hard but that is what you have to do in the end. I think this is the only semi serious comment I have made lol.
gc327072 30
Aaaand you do the walk! *guitar* Do the walk of liiiiiife yea, you do the walk of life!
iOceanus 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She should feel absolutely guilty. Cheating is never okay, no matter your gender. Instead of dumping her right away, talk to her about it first.
entwinedrose 9
If she feels guilty, she probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place.
VBjew 3
24-guilty or not she still messed up badly. It doesn't matter how she feels.
lilhellian 26
77 You have the first sensible comment I've seen on this fml so far.
Codezlol 21
135- it completely depends on the situation. The way I see it is once a cheater always a cheater, but everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on it. It doesn't say if she admitted to it without accusation or if OP caught her and she denied it. It really depends, but personally id tell her to hit the road.
spazz666 18
It's funny how if this was a girl saying her boyfriend cheated on her you would all be saying "Kick him in the balls! Yahhhh! he deserves it, what a douche!" And yet when I girl cheats on her boyfriend it's just "Well, you should dumb her but don't smack her.". How often I see double standards in favor of hurting men will never cease to amaze me.
CrewBoy 10
I still think this bitch deserves to just go straight to hell.
UberNova 18
145 - I agree, hence the "maybe even a back-hand" I wouldn't do it myself, but I would agree to people who did in the appropriate circumstances, it is either both can or both can't. Women are seen as weaker beings, which they are physically (generally) so it isn't seen as that bad, whereas men punch harder women punch more frequently. Besides, the people who say usually say those things that are one-gender sides are stupid.
culito_fml 10
I think not hitting her is a more dignified way of handling the situation. Maybe she needed a ride or somewhere to stay, and wasn't so much sorry
AKGirlinSD 20
24, I agree with the dumping but I wouldn't backhand her. I don't believe physical violence, towards either gender, is okay, even when the relationship just came to an end.
OneGirlsLife 20
I'm sorry your girlfriend is a ****. No one deserves to be cheated on!
iOceanus 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cheating once doesn't make you a ****, sleeping around a lot does. I don't think we should be assuming things just because she ****** up. I agree with your second sentence though.
siegheil_fml 4
It makes her a ****. Means she can't be happy with the D she already has she wants other D.
iOceanus 18
88 - I bet you're one of the people that don't think it's such a big deal for a guy to cheat, but when a girl does it, she's the biggest **** ever. Such a double standard.
UncleMuscles 5
94, I bet you're someone who bets on other people.
RedPillSucks 31
Perhaps wait for it to actually happen before you claim "double standard". I don't see anyone implying its ok for guys to cheat.
Zomg_Okay 26
79 - Cheating doesn't make you a ****. If you can't commit to one person, don't get into a relationship. Sleeping around doesn't make you a ****, however, unless you are using your body to get something (e.g. money, a promotion, revenge, etc.). If you're "sleeping around" purely to have a good time, and you do it safely, what's the harm?
jojimugo 20
79. Talk to me when your significant other cheats on you and let's see if your view will change.
tygerarmy 35
There is nothing wrong with sleeping around and having a great time. As long as you're not in a committed, closed relationship. Then you are violating your partners trust. If you wanna sleep around don't be in a relationship.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#79 actually the word "****"'s original meaning was "A girl who's room was untidy" but that was back in the 1900's. Modern use of the word has it meaning "A promiscuous women". Not sure where i'm going with this… but it doesn't mean a girl who "Sleeps around"
CrewBoy 10
I really don't care about the official definition of the word "****." The girlfriend is a ****, a *****, and a piece of dog shit.
culito_fml 10
I think sleeping around is the same as being promiscuous
culito_fml 10
For someone who said "we shouldn't assume.." you just did
scarface90 8
There is no double standards... Guys who cheat and sleep around - Douchebags and morons Girls who cheat and sleep around - ***** and ******
Zomg_Okay 26
Right, I said cheating doesn't make you a ****, I meant to type *does*. My bad. Either way, my point still stands: Sleeping around isn't slutty, once you aren't selling your body and you aren't in a relationship.
CrewBoy 10
152. It is slutty to sleep around. But there isn't anything wrong with being a ****.
Legendoflaw 4
79- you are a complete moron
Czech_Zidane 14
If cheating once does not make you a ****, then stealing once does not make you a thief and raping someone once does not make you a rapist, isn´t it? You just implied this, so...?
SApprentice 34
172- No, cheating once makes you a "cheater".
Tyger44 1
Ioceans seems like a person who committed the same thing
culito_fml 10
Me: *reads 152* Me: *facepalms*
leena24 11
Your analogies are flawed. Actually stealing once DOES make you a thief. Cheating once does not make you a ****. This is analogous to murdering one person does not make you a MASS murderer.
Czech_Zidane 14
I do not agree. If I am in a relationship and my gf will have sex with somebody other, I have it as "she is a ****" and I do not give a damn about if it was once or more times. Who did something like that once could do it more times. If I love, I do NOT have sex with anyone other than with my love. Period.
txboy76 4
That sux. Ditch her.
CharresBarkrey 15
Seriously? It's two letters! Just type "sucks."
MissahMissy 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Actually, it's three letters..
KiddNYC1O 20
Only 2 extra letters to type... Derp. ^
KawiRacer69 5
No its three. To change sux to sucks you need to drop the X and add CKS which is three letters... Derp^
KiddNYC1O 20
Thank you. ^ Derp. ^^
noonenoeone 22
You wouldn't type the x if you were spelling "sucks" so it's only 2 letters. Talking about correcting a mistake and the amount of letters you type is completely irrelevant, but if that's the route you want to take you need to account for the # of times you hit the backspace key and the extra time spent making the correction. TL;DR There is no conceivable reality in which it could be 3 letters.
Nighthunter 11
What a tramp!
onlychildFTW 33
That was probably her costume. I've seen so many girls say they aren't slutty or tramps or anything but then when Halloween comes they wear practically nothing and sleep with strangers. So strange.
withered 30
Having sex makes you a ****? As far as I see it people can wear whatever the hell they want. And I don't think women/men are ***** for having sex with strangers (also, funny how you call only the women ***** while clearly it takes 2 (at least) to have sex and unless she is lesbian that 2nd person is a male). Women enjoy sex just like men. And if you use protection have as much sex as you'd like. As far as I see it women who have sex as much as you do/more/wish you did are way too often called *****.
Nightwing98 22
What was her costume? Trampire?
Zestus 19
Oh god my sides
AaliyahMorgan143 5
LOL
SqueakyChipmunk 21
Whorewolf.
Posthuman 26
Beware the trampire! She'll suck you dry
IAmJad 18
What about Frankenskank?
gc327072 30
The Incredible ****.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
**** Dracula.
flockz 19
a prostitute.
nikininja 4
A wicked bitch? Come on OP, tell us!
codyjohn17 5
Kristen Stewart!
Inheritance 10
"The Walking Tramp"
RedPillSucks 31
You say that like its a bad thing
NeonPopRocks 14
Bella from Twilight?!
onlychildFTW 33
It was probably Bella. Haha.
lilhellian 26
101, 130 Sorry to say but 78 but you to it because bella is kristen stewart.
MRVOlivia 22
Jabba the ****
TrailblazerSS 5
She is evidently a poor choice for a girlfriend. That's inexcusable.
simron_15 3
Agreed
Marrach 7
59- If you agree , just thumb the comment up.
HEATNATION 10
Hahahaha! Amen!
lucianaamelia 21
Seconded. Dump her op!
Proff_Farnsworth 5
65 if that's how you feel don't post anymore stupid comments and just thumb up or down
AphyTheBronette 15
Tell her to hit the road with walking, plenty of girls who are loyal and responsible.
sarahshanghai 9
And you are still with her why? Plus, how did you not relize it sooner? I mean, it seems logical to be with your girlfriend on halloween.
S182 15
Yeah, because its totally impossible that maybe he was working on Halloween, or something else important that kept him from going out.
sarahshanghai 9
Im pretty sure he wasn't working all night. I mean, there ARE ways he could have been able to see her for more than the morning after
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
You should've been with her on Halloween, but no one deserves that. Sorry to hear it OP.