Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation, and she'd asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldn't get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
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Top comments
liindsey 25
Well hopefully you confronted her.
anjyu22 0
Uh, are you sure? That sounds like a pretty outrageous, not to mention easily disproven excuse to just invent.
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Comments (60)
Vagrarian 2
Get all excited about the puppies and tell her how much you want to see them. Talk about how you've been thinking about getting a dog. Ask and ask her about coming to see the puppies until she fesses up. OK, you may have forgotten....or she's a ***** for making such a lame excuse. If she fesses up and admits she doesn't have a dog, just say, "Yeah, I knew that. We're through, you lying bitch." And mean it. Someone who makes up a lame excuse like that is not worth your time or anyone else's time.
vamidus 0
she knows you know she doesn't have a dog. it's a hint. take it and move along.
Tromboneguy29 0
Haha I agree with 15
flyintonite 0
If she doesn't have a dog than pregnant dog = another man. Simple as that. If you've been going steady for awhile that sucks but if not eh, and if you went on a "date" with a girl and assume your automatically dating you deserve it.
antman00 0
This site's really going downhill. Not because of the FMLs being posted, but all the people in the comments crying 'FAKE' or if it has anything to do with sex '****'.
Unregistered 0
this site is really going downhill because of ******* retards like you how think they are funny voting in shitty stories why dont you go to MLIA where they accept the same generic crap
TheLetterZero 7
Hey #22, stop being retarded!
riku3220 2
I agree with 21. The site is supposed to be about a minor inconvenience of your day, not a life altering event such as getting 2 limbs cut off shortly after being told you were HIV positive and had cancer in 4 different places.
BritishHobo 0
I agree, most people in the comments are not funny or not original. If I hear another 'make me a sammich' joke I'm gonna track them down and punch their face. This FML made me laugh, and that's the point of it, that's the point of all of them.
blastvortex 4
Get a clue, OP. After that, get a new girlfriend.
tehantone 0
not that you know of anyway
flashback.miss 28
come up with new material boy
shadowkiss13 0
i agree she couldve at least said her dog just died or that she was sick! haha sorry but thats just funny
textasy2000 0
are you sure it wasnt a cat? look at the post like 5 newer then yours
rairai897 0
but look at both of them, one is from indiana and the other is from california, so probably not each other
anjyu22 0
Could have been a Skype date. :)