By syn1734 - United States
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
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  Ajjas013  |  6

Haha WIN!

  HahaYDI  |  0

Agreed number 10, in a few days we'll see a FML similar to this:
"Today, I left my boyfriend, and stole his dog and his T.V. A few hours later I was arrested, now I am getting raped in prison. FML"

By  kbiz  |  0

I always wonder when i see fmls like this what the OP did. Because assuming his ex isn't just a crazy bitch (which is possible) he must have done something to warrant a such terrible break up. You don't go from "i love you" to stealing someone's stuff and breaking their heart for no reason. right??

By  perdix  |  29

I can't tell you how many of us married guys look at that as a dream scenario. Except for the dog part, that would stink.

TV I can pretty much do without, except for The Daily Show and I'm a starting to really like the Big Bang Theory.

  LemonadePink  |  0

If that is a "dream scenario" to you, then get divorced. Some guys actually do care about their wives / girlfriends and don't see them as a burden.

Stop making the majority of guys sound like dicks.

  perdix  |  29

Seeing that half of marriages end in divorce, guys that care about their wives/girlfriends (and I assume you don't mean simultaneously ;) ) are not the majority either.

Why are all failed relationships the fault of the men ("dicks")? And if you knew anything about the game of divorce, having her walk out and stealing your property is going to work a lot better for you than initiating the action with lame grounds like "irreconcilable differences" or "insupportability." Jeeesh!

  Narzhul  |  0

Considering that divorces can't possibly be the fault of only guys, I'd say the divorced non-assholes + married non-assholes > divorced assholes.

By  Don_fml  |  0

If the note actually says that she took your dog, it's an admission that the dog belongs to you. It won't be difficult to prove that she took the TV as well. Call the cops. Have her retarded ass arrested.

  psyx  |  0

So if women dress like whores, they still deserve respect?
I don't think so. You're begging for sex if you dress like that.

I hate how men are expected to respect women even if they are bitchy, catty, or whores (most women are, sadly).

  DameGreyWulf  |  0

61: At times it can be a complete predictor, others it's a clue, and others still it's a complete throw off. People can dress how they want to, or how they wished to be percieved. Those two don't always relate.
I dress very plainly, to be honest. Baggy t-shirts and jeans, no make up, no hair styling, hell I even have braces. People are always surprised when something completely screwed up or ungodly inappropriately raunchy comes out of my mouth, or when I say I love metal. Not so surprised when I say I like to read, though. So, it's a small window, but not the whole view.

Anyway about the girls dressing slutty shit. You know, I really don't approve of that stuff, but I'm not gonna spit on a girl for an unwarranted assumption.
Dressing scantily can be a trigger, though.... Those same sexy, small, tight, revealing clothes not only show off your great body, but also how you're highly unlikely to be carrying a weapon or to be able to fight off a reasonably strong person. But that doesn't ever mean she deserves to be raped. Nobody deserves to be raped. You never ASK to be taken advantage of. There are preventative measures you can take, yes, but how many of you have ever been taken advantage of in some way? How would you like it if someone said to you "Well, you deserve it for not being smart enough to [whatever]"? Depending on whatever happened, there was no way you could have known, and certainly nobody knows they're going to be raped.