By Boulette - France - Dammartin-en-go?le Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML I agree, your life sucks 50857 You deserved it 12639 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By disgusted - United States - Clarksville Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 25493 You deserved it 3221 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By longdrive - United States - San Francisco Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 37430 You deserved it 5119 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 20:02 Mystery message service Today, my two year-old opened one of my boyfriend's Snapchat messages. It was from a girl I've never heard of with, whom he has a 700+ day streak and is one of his top friends. The message said, "I wish?" FML I agree, your life sucks 762 You deserved it 169 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theydidsmellitthough - Israel - Netanya Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML I agree, your life sucks 26131 You deserved it 9346 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TMI - United States Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML I agree, your life sucks 113159 You deserved it 7032 275 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LoveSucks Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML I agree, your life sucks 1744 You deserved it 143 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I held the door open for an old man in a motorized wheelchair. He missed the door, hit my foot, and called me an asshole for getting in his way. FML I agree, your life sucks 47216 You deserved it 4415 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fucklife - United States - Washington Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 63432 You deserved it 5179 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By twelfinity - United States Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML I agree, your life sucks 28617 You deserved it 5776 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gassygirlfriend - United States - Nampa Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32968 You deserved it 5103 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chris - United States Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 39385 You deserved it 3905 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By H1dd3n - United States - La Quinta Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML I agree, your life sucks 52939 You deserved it 3828 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By figgy - United States Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML I agree, your life sucks 30188 You deserved it 6071 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rachel - United States - Waynesburg Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML I agree, your life sucks 42866 You deserved it 11703 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poisonhand - United States Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML I agree, your life sucks 26690 You deserved it 2794 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brastro - Ireland Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 16961 You deserved it 178775 276 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Wapakoneta Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 28911 You deserved it 3340 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands - Reusel Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML I agree, your life sucks 21741 You deserved it 1742 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KatieB - United Kingdom - Newark Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML I agree, your life sucks 32442 You deserved it 7277 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 20:02 - Canada - Windsor Not likely in 2020 Today, I’m stuck not being able to sleep, because the thought of someone actually caring about me occurred. FML I agree, your life sucks 725 You deserved it 140 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cass - United States Today, is my high school graduation. Last night I read online that you can use apple cider vinegar to help with head dandruff, so I tried it out. Now, no matter how much product or perfume I use, I still smell like a giant walking fart. My graduation is in a couple of hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 12554 You deserved it 5074 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 33040 You deserved it 2897 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Ames Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML I agree, your life sucks 13389 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1737 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RuinedTheMood - United States - Tomball Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 47666 You deserved it 13293 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lincolnton Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML I agree, your life sucks 36685 You deserved it 3869 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NowImSingle Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML I agree, your life sucks 5378 You deserved it 401 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gayeveryday - Canada - Truro Today, I came out to my parents. They still think I'm joking. FML I agree, your life sucks 32378 You deserved it 5899 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DreeStahr - United States - Liberty Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML I agree, your life sucks 13775 You deserved it 1346 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By failure - Russian Federation Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML I agree, your life sucks 28444 You deserved it 4141 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cock blocked - United States - San Francisco Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML I agree, your life sucks 33047 You deserved it 2458 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By angelsaredicks - United States - Morgantown Today, I gave blood for the first time, since I'm a universal donor. After it was done, I passed out, woke up, puked, and passed out again. The kind nurses told me I was the worst case they had seen all week. So much for doing something to help others. FML I agree, your life sucks 23909 You deserved it 2067 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By doubletrouble - United States Today, my boyfriend finally found a roommate after hopelessly looking for months. I was really anxious to meet the guy because I would most likely be spending a good amount of time with him. Who did my boyfriend end up picking as his new roommate? My ex-boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 46175 You deserved it 4672 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pooraf - United States - Urbana Today, I got mugged. I almost felt sorry for him: he got a $15 cell phone, a frozen debit card, a credit card with only $50 of credit left on it, and no cash. FML I agree, your life sucks 15271 You deserved it 1584 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ccc - United States Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML I agree, your life sucks 55993 You deserved it 4406 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emeraldapostle Today, both a coworker of mine and my boss agreed that I fit the profile of a serial killer. I don't know what's worse, the fact that they think that low of me, or the fact that this isn't the first time someone's said I remind them of a serial killer. FML I agree, your life sucks 1657 You deserved it 241 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 221bcompanion - United States - Massillon Today, I put more effort into getting and keeping my Sims onto a good sleep schedule in order to properly take care of their needs than I did for myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 17668 You deserved it 7639 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HBCRUISER Today, I had to go to the local UPS store to sign for a package with providing I.D. shipped to me. I had no idea who had sent the package. After signing for the package, I opened it and saw that I had signed for an empty package. I actually paid for nothing. FML I agree, your life sucks 2539 You deserved it 267 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML I agree, your life sucks 28361 You deserved it 23180 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IceCreamCraver - United States Today, the ice cream truck went by my house for the seventh time today, as it has for the last seven days of my fasting. FML I agree, your life sucks 33554 You deserved it 8391 279 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 05:02 Merry Christmas, or not Today, I got a quick COVID test and got a positive result. Christmas is in 3 days, my son and husband have to stay with my mom and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I've never been away from them this long and it is killing me. FML I agree, your life sucks 923 You deserved it 1338 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bloo2555 | 22 #7626692 - Tuesday 24 April 2018 17:40 Hi, I'm 《null》 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By HalfRetarded127 | 18 #7763411 - Monday 4 February 2019 1:12 WE THREW OUT HIS NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Bloo2555 | 22 #7626692 - Tuesday 24 April 2018 17:40 Hi, I'm 《null》 Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By HalfRetarded127 | 18 #7763411 - Monday 4 February 2019 1:12 WE THREW OUT HIS NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my husband’s been dropping hints he wants to open our marriage. When I got home, a couple of his coworkers dropped by "for drinks". They tried to... I agree, your life sucks 33 You deserved it 1 0 Comments
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm... I agree, your life sucks 34 You deserved it 82 1 Comments