Love: Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came... - FML

By Whatswrongwithme? - 03/11/2013 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 697

You deserved it 5 708

You tried

Good kid

People don't always get sarcasm

By bowhuntpa - 16/07/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 006

You deserved it 4 081

By Kpotassium - 19/12/2016 21:58 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I noticed that my two cats have been urinating on my Christmas tree skirt more frequently than in their litter box. I've tried to get them to stop, but I don't know how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 007

You deserved it 1 036

By anon - 23/11/2011 22:53

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 940

You deserved it 3 008

By Lola - 08/08/2010 14:32 - United Kingdom

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 490

You deserved it 38 012

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 754

You deserved it 24 953

By Triumvirate - 16/10/2010 05:26 - United States

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 642

You deserved it 41 997

Tense

By Anonymous - 23/05/2020 17:00

Today, my dad happened to mention he proposed to his girlfriend I had no idea he was dating. Turns out it's one of my old high school teachers, specifically the bitch who hated me as much as I hated her. My dad is so oblivious, he has no idea WWIII is about to start in our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 190

Why Change a Perfectly Good System?

By queenofthegypsys - 01/03/2020 23:00

Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 867

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 09:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 685

You deserved it 35 705

By Anonymous - 07/02/2012 18:15 - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 857

You deserved it 21 004

By MollyMoodle7 - 22/06/2011 07:11 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend bought me Kings of Leon tickets for my birthday. Since he thought I was irresponsible, he gave the tickets to his mum so I wouldn't lose them. The show is today, and we can't find the tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 925

You deserved it 4 176

By Grandson - 07/11/2013 05:52 - United States - Ontario

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 301

You deserved it 4 583

MVP

By Darren - 31/08/2020 04:01 - Australia - Greenacre

Today, during my second shift back at work after missing 4 weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need 3 weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 773

You deserved it 7 327

By Lost5dollars - 08/08/2017 14:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to a bunch of missed calls from a number I didn't know. I had called an Uber in my sleep. They charged a cancellation fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 071

You deserved it 1 072

By IceWrath - 16/08/2015 08:14 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 033

You deserved it 2 405

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 18:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 936

You deserved it 4 731

Feeling ripped off

By EpicOracle - 02/10/2021 09:59 - Nigeria

Today, I woke up feeling out of step with life. Work owes me money for 6 months-worth of projects I did. I collected loans to take care of my sick dad and manage myself, and now my bosses are refusing to pay what they owe, so my account balance is blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 74

By anonymous - 16/10/2010 15:18 - Canada

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 323

You deserved it 4 292

Godammit Ursula!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my sister has been telling people I’ve been dead for the last 3 months, to cover up the fact she used me to commit identity fraud. We’re identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 48

By Parusu - 13/02/2014 00:52 - United States - Orlando

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 691

You deserved it 4 378

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 529

You deserved it 3 990

By gwengas - 30/07/2014 06:51 - France - Saint-ouen-des-alleux

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 121

You deserved it 5 266

By anonymous - 22/11/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 2 964

By Bwberry - 29/11/2017 19:00

Today, I spent hours hand-painting an awesome design on a gift for a friend. My husband was supposed to assemble it when I finished, but when I stepped back to admire my work, he informed me that the whole thing was sideways. He watched me paint it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 429

By Anonymous - 26/05/2014 03:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 167

You deserved it 4 490

By Robert Herrin - 31/10/2018 13:30

Today, being the man of the house, I decided to work on the car. Long story short, there's a towel in my transmission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 2 178

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 18:01 - United States

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 154

You deserved it 4 218

Fairytale ending

By Anonymous - 09/06/2020 17:00

Spicy

Today, as something cute to do, me and my boyfriend dressed as Snow White and the Prince so we could photograph the moment he kisses me and I wake up. He thought it would be funny to use his penis, so now there’s a picture of us dressed up with my dumb self kissing his penis with my eyes closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 1 271

What are you doing?

By StopMe - 20/05/2019 12:00

Today, I went to a hobby lobby with the director of the play my daughter is in. He leaned in to grab a bottle of blue paint, and I mistook it for a hug. When he looked perplexed, I hugged him again, this time jumping in celebration of finding the blue paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 507

By Anonymous - 16/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 782

You deserved it 5 268

By I said whaat - 18/12/2012 16:50

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 143

You deserved it 36 763

By cat cat - 13/07/2018 01:30

Today, I wore my first thong, which I bought weeks ago but was only just now brave enough to wear. As I was leaving, my little brother decided I really needed a wedgie. The thong garrotted my bum hole and I now have toilet paper up there because it won't stop bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 934

You deserved it 464

By failed brood mare - 17/11/2013 17:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 510

You deserved it 3 100

Dr Who

By llamaborn - 05/04/2021 14:00

Today, at the age of 21, I learned that the phrase, “A stitch in time saves nine” is not about traveling back in time and saving nine people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 655

By ihatevideos - 16/03/2009 23:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 257

You deserved it 37 362

By thewordsicantsay - 25/02/2010 07:05 - Canada

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 3 368

Knackered

By Karen - 05/03/2012 02:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 477

You deserved it 3 068

By Lilragu97 - 26/07/2012 05:14 - United States - Exeter

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 298

You deserved it 2 378

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 209

You deserved it 10 856

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:08

Baby come back!

RoseBlack123 37

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:08

Then it's probably for the best, because it was never gonna work out after all

Comments

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:08

Baby come back!

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:16

You can blame it all on me

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:17

any kind of fool could see!

Teyros 24

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:44

But the cat came back the very next day... *Drills that tune into your head from your childhood*

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Sunday 3 November 2013 20:21

I've waited 3 years for this FML. ---------------------------------------- I forgot what I was gonna say.

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Sunday 3 November 2013 20:24

What's wrong with you? Your dad's condom.

crunchmunchkin 13

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Sunday 3 November 2013 20:30

The Pokemon theme song was more fun.

\ 28

Sunday 3 November 2013 21:02

At least OP has his work cut out for him.

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Sunday 3 November 2013 21:09

To the author: Your dad's condom.

perdix 29

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Sunday 3 November 2013 22:59

I want ribs, now!

SmuggletheBudgie 15

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Monday 4 November 2013 0:17

Why 35 WHY!?

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Monday 4 November 2013 16:21

Damm! Damm! Dadi Da DAMM!

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Monday 4 November 2013 23:29

1877 cars for kids...

kittykat1501 31

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Monday 14 September 2015 2:47

35 wat

RoseBlack123 37

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:08

Then it's probably for the best, because it was never gonna work out after all

swaggalikethat 22

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Sunday 3 November 2013 20:17

Or maybe she just wasn't ready to hear that. Too soon Op :'(

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Sunday 3 November 2013 20:56

Classic Schmosby.

letmehavemytea 21

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Monday 4 November 2013 7:23

Don't say I love you on the first date, Ted.

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:08

Clearly she didn't deserve you? Honestly just sounds like a bitch anyways..

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:19

No it's not clear whether one deserved the other. I don't know about you, but I'd rather my partner tell me s/he loves me and it be a true heartfelt emotion. I don't expect (and don't want) it to be said simply as a response to my own profession unless it was honest.

fakedsincerity 32

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Sunday 3 November 2013 21:46

how can you judge that? maybe he said it after an hour of dating. not enough info to tell.

fakedsincerity 32

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Monday 4 November 2013 17:28

true, 94. I don't think it makes her a bitch like 3 said. maybe just too immature for a relationship.

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Monday 4 November 2013 22:04

Op could be a creeper. Also, people deal with things differently. She could have been trying to break up with him and didn't want to be the one to break his heart by telling him "I don't love you sorry."

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:09

There's nothing wrong with you. I hate pointing out the obvious, but if she doesn't reciprocate the feelings, then there is no reason to force her. It's best to end it.

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:43

Honestly love can develop, it may come on at different times for each person. I wouldn't say "just end it" if she doesn't love him yet. Though it does depend on how long they've been together for sure.

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Sunday 3 November 2013 22:03

If she ran away, I don't think she is going to reciprocate the feelings anytime soon.

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

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Sunday 3 November 2013 22:32

we don't know how long they've been dating so no true response can be given until op let's us know the time length of their relationship.

greeneyebeauty9 28

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:10

Better sooner than later. It would've hurt more if this happened later down the line. (not saying it didn't hurt now)

fk18 27

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:11

Better to find out now than later, atleast you're not wasting your time anymore

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:12

That's a pretty immature way to deal with something that probably took a fair deal of courage for you to say :o People suck. FYL

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:13

Kind of like my dad

CallMeMcFeelii 13

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:33

I'm sorry, but for some reason your comment made me laugh like a motherfucker. I may be an asshole..

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:49

*chuckles to self* eeeeeerhhmm sorry to hear that man

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:14

I'm sorry OP. You deserve better than that though.

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Sunday 3 November 2013 19:14

Love hurts..

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 58

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 53

Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 118