Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that her ex cheated on her when they were together, so she pegged all men the same, saying she was done with relationships, and didn't care if she hurt me or not. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
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Top comments
sam_stalker 0
Steal them and poke holes in all of them, then give them back! That will show the cheating bitch
mjsmclaren 0
be a man, tell her u poked holes through all of them.
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Comments (82)
Glazed 0
what a slutbag
jamps_fml 0
This once happened to me lol
skullbuster 0
You tried to get a box of rubbers back after your girlfriend admits to cheating on you and breaks up with you?? This happened to you, and you readily admit to it? What is wrong with the world today..doesn't anyone have any self-respect left? These "relationships" (or should we just call 'em hook-ups) obviously meant a lot to you guys if your post-breakup thought is "Can I get those leftover Trojans back?"
deaditegirl 0
They're condoms. Who cares? Buy more, get over it.
k10tree 0
You tried to get your condoms back from her? That's kind of...
eli_guerra 0
Ain't no skanky bitch gf of mine breaking up w/ me and taking my shit!!
cheesefest 0
Take some of her socks and tell her you need them for all the extra spooging you'll be doing without her. Return them, unwashed and infected with hepatitis, SARS and conficker.
hypergeezer 0
pimp slap that bitch
bishoprsv2 0
SUE LIKE A JEW!!!
skullbuster 0
Sue for what, the $5.99-10.99 to cover the lost rubbers. The ex-girlfriend sounds like a real ****, but really, can you imagine this breakup scene: Girlfriend: I'm breaking up with you. I've been sucking and ******* this other guy for weeks. OP: Alright, bitch, just give me my box of leftover condoms and we're done. Girlfriend: No, and what do you need them for anyway, you aren't getting any. Me, I've got the guy I've been seeing behind your back coming over later and we're gonna use the whole ******* box! OP: But I had to save up a week for those. Girlfriend: Thanks you big pussy! Sounds kind of "teen scene" to me. Who asks for their condoms back?? Isn't the breakup and the fact that she was cheating humiliating enough - and then you post your tragic story here after trying to recover the left over condoms...FYL indeed! Have some DIGNITY man.
ithedarkknight 0
wow dude wow man im soo against this dude but man if you could i would tell you to CHRIS BROWN THAT BITCH! what a omg man idk what i would do if a girl had the nerve to do that to me cheat on me and when i ask for my condoms she says no im using them for my next guy i cheated on you with... let me think.... dude grab a pillow to her face and punch that shit ass hard as you can therefore she would feel it but there wont be any bruises!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then call the cops and said she verbally abused you and you want a restraining order
AmberDifranco 0
That sucks man, but kudos for safe sex =)