Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that her ex cheated on her when they were together, so she pegged all men the same, saying she was done with relationships, and didn't care if she hurt me or not. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
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Top comments
sam_stalker 0
Steal them and poke holes in all of them, then give them back! That will show the cheating bitch
mjsmclaren 0
be a man, tell her u poked holes through all of them.
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Comments (82)
Fscene15 0
Ha! thats what you call a W.H.O.R.E
Jane48 0
Asking for them back sounds like you just want to use them yourself, which makes you just as bad as her. Just go buy new ones and avoid arguing.
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
******: the second largest occupants of Fmylife. You can now join the club of all the other unlucky fellows who also picked ***** for their girlfriends. Don't worry OP, many people feel your pain.
katherineharriss 0
#94 i cant agree more
JokingJoe 0
And doesnt it seems like more guys get cheated on then girls? That woman deserves a baby and a lovely case of AIDS
mclaxin1115 0
i'd backhand that ho
phiniusmaster 0
Hit that bbitch in tha mouth. lolz
TheEntertainer89 1
I would've poked holes in each one... Nothing says revenge like shitty ass diapers.
loveyahun 0
Ouch...
rashedpatrick 0
71- I like that idea better
korcagirl1 0
no I think it's because your small dick didn't fit into them. so she was experimenting with other guys.
wintamint101 7
ydi for wanting them back